to all the boys I’ve loved before by Mayda Valle

 part 1:

we are not your mothers
and are not meant to be
it is not our responsibility to raise you into respectful beings
you have been weaned from the breast of a woman for years
yet you come to us
wounded and half filled with promises you can only keep half the time
trying to suckle our sense of self dry
we’ve become much to accustomed to sleepless nights and damp pillows
have become accustomed to waiting for our empty beds
to be weighed down with the bodies of men heavy with the scent
and the hands of other women
mornings with swollen puffy eyes are becoming routine
and we simply wanting to be loved
simply wanting to be able to love ourselves unconditionally
simply wanting to be held and feel safe
simply wanting the truth of whether you can really love us or not
play Hester Prynn
wear scarlet letters on our chests
become adulteresses
cheating ourselves out of what we truly deserve
willing to settle for less
willing to act like a little less than a goddesses
willing to sleep with the enemy
men too scared to stop acting like boys
thinking we can love away their scars
so we take the lashes of the insecurities they pour on us
and lick our wounds in quiet mourning for the little girls we lose by the minute
fast fading memories of playing hopscotch
and skippin’ rope
we now play freeze tag with each other’s hearts
play hide and seek with our love
if we just don’t breathe maybe we won’t get caught
up in the spider’s web we weave while waiting for what we give away to be returned

What Women Really Want

What women really want is just this. . . .

Great website!

 

Dear Sugar. . .

He’s Just Not that into You

February 6^th is the release of He’s Just Not that into You, a movie about love in the technology age. It’s just up Internet Drama’s alley.“He’s Just Not that Into You” started off with our favorite show Sex & the City when in Season 6, Berger met up with the gals and told Miranda, “He’s just not that into you.”

I came across an article that gives us real “He’s Just not Into You” signs. Although the phrase seems groundbreaking, I don’t think it’s that simple. Sometimes things do happen and sometimes he might not be that into you, but I don’t think these words should be taken for gospel. Personally.

More on Liars

Interesting article on men lying. I love this:

Psychologists say men lie when faced with a crisis. They find it difficult to come to grips with the painful reality of failure so they lie as a form of escapism. Researchers have also found that people who always tell the truth regardless of the outcome have difficult social lives.

So we just bite the gun? Or search for the apparently impossible?

Liar, Liar

I’ve been told since childhood that lying is wrong, but I think that lying has its variations of wrongs. The worst of them is lying to someone your dating. Now I don’t want to be a man-basher, but why do men feel that they need to lie about EVERYTHING? Or ALMOST EVERYTHING. Why can’t they just say things upfront? Straight up, “I have a girlfriend,” or “I’m seeing other people,” or “Actually, I don’t really love you. I just love that thing you do. Are women still viewed as weak, emotionally crazed beings? Why do men think women can’t handle the truth?

Women, now, are not the Mrs. Cleavers of the past. They’re Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. Women can handle it. It hurts 10 times as much and is 100 times, more, f-ed up when you find out a month into snuggling on the couch that your guy has a girlfriend and that you’re just a “phase.” If a guy is real with a girl from the beginning she can make her own decisions about the relationship. That’s what is so messed up about lying in a relationship, the fact that choices are taken away. While the guy is running around doing his thing, the girl is sitting around thinking “I got something special.”

It’s a game of domination, by lying the man keeps the upper hand in the relationship and keeps his options open while limiting the girl’s choices. Guys can’t stand losing and so they lie so that they can win all around. But what they fail to notice is that women are extremely analytical and intuitive. Women notice things like when men don’t pick up certain phone calls in front of them or they all of a sudden have “new friends.” But just because women know it doesn’t mean that she’ll leave the situation. Sometimes she wants to hear it from the horse’s mouth. But when men are confronted, they still lie. And the man that started off as dominate comes out looking pathetic and cowardly.

It’s best for the fellas to be honest. Sometimes they need to have more confidence in a girl’s ability to cope. The only reasons that girls go a little crazy at the end it all is because the guy lied to begin with. That lie becomes something bigger and the reaction is bigger, but if a guy is honest from the beginning, he doesn’t have to deal with an atomic bomb at the end and you won’t have one more strike against getting to heaven.

Ladies, if you notice lying confront the guy and if he doesn’t respond give him the axe or the old “two can play this game.” If a guy fesses up to an unpardonable lie, learn from it. It’s easy to get sad when things go wrong, but there’s a lesson in everything.