Friendship to Relationship to Friendship

You know that funny period when you break up with your ex and you’ve successful maintained a friendship and then you wonder why you broke up? Well, try not to get sucked into it because the reality is that you’re happy with the friendship because you don’t have the responsibility of the relationship. When you’re his friend, you don’t or can’t care about who he’s sleeping with or if he has a job or why doesn’t he buy you this and that because there is no obligation, no responsibility.

So, don’t get ahead of yourself and get caught up in the sweetness of the friendship because that is NOT at all the same as the relationship. Make sure you have boundaries, emotionally and physically. And if you do decide to take a step back into the relationship realm make sure that obvious and big changes are made on both parties to avoid further heartache.

An article on crazy women

 

Interesting article on “crazy women.”

Women are crazy

Men often say “women are crazy!” And as much I’ve said, “Shut up, that’s not true,” I thought about, and women are crazy. Most of us are emotional cannons and others are just a hot mess. Since a lot of what we do is emotionally charge, our reactions are often irrational and extreme. I think that women get hurt and don’t know what to do with those emotions, so they get kind of stalkerish, or vindictive. Since women are so sensitive and in their emotional whirlwind, they try to find a way to make themselves feel better. Because these things are done during emotional delirium they usually come out as crazy, but they actually have a logically driven explanation.

Like the girl that walks by your house, it’s crazy, but she just wants to feel close to you.

The girl that calls you several times? She just wants an explanation.

Or the girl that calls you horrible names, and is yelling at you like she’s possessed by a demon? What can I say? She’s angry.

So, yeh, women are crazy, but it’s usually because a guy did something to her. If men thought before they acted women would be extremely same, but when someone forgets your birthday, cheats on you, or disrespects you, are you suppose to be all smiles? I think not.

 

Forgive Him, Forgive Her Not

It has been said time and time again that women are more forgiving and kinder than men. We are emotional beings and men the rational ones (although, I don’t personally completely agree). I always see women forgiving men for their lying, cheating, and deceit, but hardly do I see men forgive women. Why is it that when men are done they’re DONE? And women forgive and forgive until they finally wear themselves out emotionally?

I think that people should treat people the way they want to be treated. If someone forgives you, you, naturally, expect that the person being forgiven would forgive you as well; but that is not the case, men make rash and firm decisions about what they want to do and women consider their emotions, and the situation as a whole and that seems to kick them in the face.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that women seem to get the short-end of the stick, but then does that mean that we have to be more decisive and strong about our decisions? I guess so.  So, when you feel in your heart of hearts that you’ve been hurt, don’t forgive because mostly likely you’ll get hurt again, and again and again; and once you act out you’ll  be judged harsher than you’ve judged them. So don’t take the risk of getting the boot when you wanted to do it first.

 

The Naked Truth

 

Men are extremely visual, maybe too visual sometimes. Their eyes never fail to roam over to the next booty passing by, they purchase porn, and nudey magazines like it their jobs, and in the end we turn the other cheek because those women are unattainable or they’re strangers, BUT what if those nude pictures are of an EX and they’re dated today’s date?

First thing that comes to your head is, “Is he cheating on me?” Second, come the self-doubt, “if he loves me, why would he do that?” and, “am I not good-looking enough?”

Of course, the answers to these questions are relative, but if someone causes you to ask these questions, then you need to get in control of the situation because a relationship should never make you doubt yourself, and if you don’t want to necessarily let go, then you need to do you, really. Because as I see it, when a guy has naked, recent pictures of an ex, he’s obviously still speaking to his ex, he, obviously, has the desire to see his ex naked, and he’s obviously still hung up on her.

So, what do you do about? It really depends what you want out of it. If you want the truth, then good luck because when men get caught, they will lie through their teeth until they all fall out. You won’t get the truth from a guy unless you have all possible escapes covered. I know of one situation where a friend of mine would constantly find naked pictures of her bf’s ex on his computer.

The first time, it was of two of his exes, and he said, “Oh, what pictures? There are no pictures.” The raging girlfriend thought she had lost her mind. She saw them and deleted the pictures in her rage, so deleted pictures coupled with his denial created a scapegoat for him.

The second time she found weekly emails from one of his ex with provocative pictures totaling well over 50. His excuse, “Oh she didn’t send me that! They’ve been circulating naked pictures of her and they sent them to me. But I don’t even talk to her.” Yet, his girlfriend had sent a reply message to the emails, “saying “Don’t send me these types of pictures,” from the bf’s account. The bf admitted that the girl mysteriously received the email (although she wasn’t the one who sent the pictures) and sent him a message cursing him out.

Now this relationship, clearly, has all types of problems. There’s no trust, no respect, and no love. Yeh, the gf shouldn’t have been going through his stuff, but why does the bf recent pics of his ex? I think that men are so obsessed with the body that they risk everything for a naked woman, and I think women have tolerated so much that men have no appreciation for what they have. But then what about the ex that is fully aware that the guy is involved and knows the girl? What is happening to our self-control people?!

Men need to appreciate what they have and focus on the woman in their life. Women, stop being nosey, but if you feel that you have to look through man’s things, it’s time to walk away, and EXES, you’re the EX, so step off; have respect for yourself and others especially if you have a baby. . . .

to all the boys I’ve loved before by Mayda Valle

 part 1:

we are not your mothers
and are not meant to be
it is not our responsibility to raise you into respectful beings
you have been weaned from the breast of a woman for years
yet you come to us
wounded and half filled with promises you can only keep half the time
trying to suckle our sense of self dry
we’ve become much to accustomed to sleepless nights and damp pillows
have become accustomed to waiting for our empty beds
to be weighed down with the bodies of men heavy with the scent
and the hands of other women
mornings with swollen puffy eyes are becoming routine
and we simply wanting to be loved
simply wanting to be able to love ourselves unconditionally
simply wanting to be held and feel safe
simply wanting the truth of whether you can really love us or not
play Hester Prynn
wear scarlet letters on our chests
become adulteresses
cheating ourselves out of what we truly deserve
willing to settle for less
willing to act like a little less than a goddesses
willing to sleep with the enemy
men too scared to stop acting like boys
thinking we can love away their scars
so we take the lashes of the insecurities they pour on us
and lick our wounds in quiet mourning for the little girls we lose by the minute
fast fading memories of playing hopscotch
and skippin’ rope
we now play freeze tag with each other’s hearts
play hide and seek with our love
if we just don’t breathe maybe we won’t get caught
up in the spider’s web we weave while waiting for what we give away to be returned

Great website!

 

Dear Sugar. . .

He’s Just Not that into You

February 6^th is the release of He’s Just Not that into You, a movie about love in the technology age. It’s just up Internet Drama’s alley.“He’s Just Not that Into You” started off with our favorite show Sex & the City when in Season 6, Berger met up with the gals and told Miranda, “He’s just not that into you.”

I came across an article that gives us real “He’s Just not Into You” signs. Although the phrase seems groundbreaking, I don’t think it’s that simple. Sometimes things do happen and sometimes he might not be that into you, but I don’t think these words should be taken for gospel. Personally.

More on Liars

Interesting article on men lying. I love this:

Psychologists say men lie when faced with a crisis. They find it difficult to come to grips with the painful reality of failure so they lie as a form of escapism. Researchers have also found that people who always tell the truth regardless of the outcome have difficult social lives.

So we just bite the gun? Or search for the apparently impossible?

Liar, Liar

I’ve been told since childhood that lying is wrong, but I think that lying has its variations of wrongs. The worst of them is lying to someone your dating. Now I don’t want to be a man-basher, but why do men feel that they need to lie about EVERYTHING? Or ALMOST EVERYTHING. Why can’t they just say things upfront? Straight up, “I have a girlfriend,” or “I’m seeing other people,” or “Actually, I don’t really love you. I just love that thing you do. Are women still viewed as weak, emotionally crazed beings? Why do men think women can’t handle the truth?

Women, now, are not the Mrs. Cleavers of the past. They’re Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. Women can handle it. It hurts 10 times as much and is 100 times, more, f-ed up when you find out a month into snuggling on the couch that your guy has a girlfriend and that you’re just a “phase.” If a guy is real with a girl from the beginning she can make her own decisions about the relationship. That’s what is so messed up about lying in a relationship, the fact that choices are taken away. While the guy is running around doing his thing, the girl is sitting around thinking “I got something special.”

It’s a game of domination, by lying the man keeps the upper hand in the relationship and keeps his options open while limiting the girl’s choices. Guys can’t stand losing and so they lie so that they can win all around. But what they fail to notice is that women are extremely analytical and intuitive. Women notice things like when men don’t pick up certain phone calls in front of them or they all of a sudden have “new friends.” But just because women know it doesn’t mean that she’ll leave the situation. Sometimes she wants to hear it from the horse’s mouth. But when men are confronted, they still lie. And the man that started off as dominate comes out looking pathetic and cowardly.

It’s best for the fellas to be honest. Sometimes they need to have more confidence in a girl’s ability to cope. The only reasons that girls go a little crazy at the end it all is because the guy lied to begin with. That lie becomes something bigger and the reaction is bigger, but if a guy is honest from the beginning, he doesn’t have to deal with an atomic bomb at the end and you won’t have one more strike against getting to heaven.

Ladies, if you notice lying confront the guy and if he doesn’t respond give him the axe or the old “two can play this game.” If a guy fesses up to an unpardonable lie, learn from it. It’s easy to get sad when things go wrong, but there’s a lesson in everything.