Old Men, if You’re not Hugh Hefner, Walk Away!

What is it in men’s DNA that makes them think they can get a 21 year old when they’re 60something years old? Older men, considerably older men always look to young, vibrant women/girls for companionship and my thing is “eww, gross, what makes you think you have a chance?” Why do men go for girls (not even women) that can be their daughters even granddaughter? Are they pedophiles? Do they have no conscience? Maybe they seek validation.

There are many, endless reasons why older men think and want a younger woman, but my thing is why do they think young women want them? Unless you look like Sean Connery, Pierce Bronson, Denzel Washington, or have Hugh Hefner money and fame, keep away old men. The reality is that if you don’t have charm, money, or have aged handsomely, you are not appealing to young women. Very few are the cases of older men who have nothing to offer pairing up with young women, who expect nothing but “love.”

Now, it’s not to say that I don’t believe an older man and a younger woman can’t get together, but there’s something to say when a man is seriously catcalling a 24 year old when he is 55 years old and has nothing of the aforementioned to offer. Older men need to make a list between themselves and Hugh Hefner and realize why they can’t roll like he does.

Beyond the looks

Men and women complain about the opposite sex. Men can’t seem to find a nice woman and women can’t seem to find a sensitive and nurturing man. The problem is that we don’t know how to look. Society has become extraordinarily superficial and people seem to be forgetting the importance of values and respect, focusing instead on the physical.

Men are no longer looking for the good woman; they’re looking for the sexiest piece of eye candy that will work their arm. When many (not all) of these women begin to lose interest because the man does not provide excessive materialistic support, men quickly assert, there are no good women. But think about, it takes money to look good, and these ladies aren’t spending money to look good for just anybody.

I know one guy, who is decently good-looking, has good money, and nice cars, but he always complains that women only want him for his money. Why? Because he only goes for the buxom, peroxide blonds that are, CLEARLY, only interested in his money. When introduced to a nice, natural girl, he didn’t even give her the time of day.

I see an appreciation from “old-school” men that I see seriously lacking in men today. A man always wants a beautiful woman by his side, but he sees other qualities in a woman, that makes her prettiness shine.  So, I say, men think with your heart and mind, not with you eyes and your “you know.”

Friendship to Relationship to Friendship

You know that funny period when you break up with your ex and you’ve successful maintained a friendship and then you wonder why you broke up? Well, try not to get sucked into it because the reality is that you’re happy with the friendship because you don’t have the responsibility of the relationship. When you’re his friend, you don’t or can’t care about who he’s sleeping with or if he has a job or why doesn’t he buy you this and that because there is no obligation, no responsibility.

So, don’t get ahead of yourself and get caught up in the sweetness of the friendship because that is NOT at all the same as the relationship. Make sure you have boundaries, emotionally and physically. And if you do decide to take a step back into the relationship realm make sure that obvious and big changes are made on both parties to avoid further heartache.

An article on crazy women

 

Interesting article on “crazy women.”

Women are crazy

Men often say “women are crazy!” And as much I’ve said, “Shut up, that’s not true,” I thought about, and women are crazy. Most of us are emotional cannons and others are just a hot mess. Since a lot of what we do is emotionally charge, our reactions are often irrational and extreme. I think that women get hurt and don’t know what to do with those emotions, so they get kind of stalkerish, or vindictive. Since women are so sensitive and in their emotional whirlwind, they try to find a way to make themselves feel better. Because these things are done during emotional delirium they usually come out as crazy, but they actually have a logically driven explanation.

Like the girl that walks by your house, it’s crazy, but she just wants to feel close to you.

The girl that calls you several times? She just wants an explanation.

Or the girl that calls you horrible names, and is yelling at you like she’s possessed by a demon? What can I say? She’s angry.

So, yeh, women are crazy, but it’s usually because a guy did something to her. If men thought before they acted women would be extremely same, but when someone forgets your birthday, cheats on you, or disrespects you, are you suppose to be all smiles? I think not.

 

Forgive Him, Forgive Her Not

It has been said time and time again that women are more forgiving and kinder than men. We are emotional beings and men the rational ones (although, I don’t personally completely agree). I always see women forgiving men for their lying, cheating, and deceit, but hardly do I see men forgive women. Why is it that when men are done they’re DONE? And women forgive and forgive until they finally wear themselves out emotionally?

I think that people should treat people the way they want to be treated. If someone forgives you, you, naturally, expect that the person being forgiven would forgive you as well; but that is not the case, men make rash and firm decisions about what they want to do and women consider their emotions, and the situation as a whole and that seems to kick them in the face.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that women seem to get the short-end of the stick, but then does that mean that we have to be more decisive and strong about our decisions? I guess so.  So, when you feel in your heart of hearts that you’ve been hurt, don’t forgive because mostly likely you’ll get hurt again, and again and again; and once you act out you’ll  be judged harsher than you’ve judged them. So don’t take the risk of getting the boot when you wanted to do it first.

 

The Naked Truth

 

Men are extremely visual, maybe too visual sometimes. Their eyes never fail to roam over to the next booty passing by, they purchase porn, and nudey magazines like it their jobs, and in the end we turn the other cheek because those women are unattainable or they’re strangers, BUT what if those nude pictures are of an EX and they’re dated today’s date?

First thing that comes to your head is, “Is he cheating on me?” Second, come the self-doubt, “if he loves me, why would he do that?” and, “am I not good-looking enough?”

Of course, the answers to these questions are relative, but if someone causes you to ask these questions, then you need to get in control of the situation because a relationship should never make you doubt yourself, and if you don’t want to necessarily let go, then you need to do you, really. Because as I see it, when a guy has naked, recent pictures of an ex, he’s obviously still speaking to his ex, he, obviously, has the desire to see his ex naked, and he’s obviously still hung up on her.

So, what do you do about? It really depends what you want out of it. If you want the truth, then good luck because when men get caught, they will lie through their teeth until they all fall out. You won’t get the truth from a guy unless you have all possible escapes covered. I know of one situation where a friend of mine would constantly find naked pictures of her bf’s ex on his computer.

The first time, it was of two of his exes, and he said, “Oh, what pictures? There are no pictures.” The raging girlfriend thought she had lost her mind. She saw them and deleted the pictures in her rage, so deleted pictures coupled with his denial created a scapegoat for him.

The second time she found weekly emails from one of his ex with provocative pictures totaling well over 50. His excuse, “Oh she didn’t send me that! They’ve been circulating naked pictures of her and they sent them to me. But I don’t even talk to her.” Yet, his girlfriend had sent a reply message to the emails, “saying “Don’t send me these types of pictures,” from the bf’s account. The bf admitted that the girl mysteriously received the email (although she wasn’t the one who sent the pictures) and sent him a message cursing him out.

Now this relationship, clearly, has all types of problems. There’s no trust, no respect, and no love. Yeh, the gf shouldn’t have been going through his stuff, but why does the bf recent pics of his ex? I think that men are so obsessed with the body that they risk everything for a naked woman, and I think women have tolerated so much that men have no appreciation for what they have. But then what about the ex that is fully aware that the guy is involved and knows the girl? What is happening to our self-control people?!

Men need to appreciate what they have and focus on the woman in their life. Women, stop being nosey, but if you feel that you have to look through man’s things, it’s time to walk away, and EXES, you’re the EX, so step off; have respect for yourself and others especially if you have a baby. . . .

Men are NYC taxi drivers?

So, you know when you break-up with a bf of a couple years because he doesn’t want to marry you and then he marries the chick he meets 2 months later? Well, apparently this article explains it all.

Men’s commitment issues have to do with a theory that they are NYC taxi drivers. They work hard all day, but when they’re done, they’re done. Meaning men will date and date to their hearts content and when they’re tired of dating they stick to the woman who happens to be there when they’re done.

Now I don’t want to be a complete cynic but this makes sense. Why else would a man not be satisfied by the back-breaking girlfriend who’s been his everything for years and yet the girl can’t get anything out of the guy? Maybe because he’s just not ready, it’s not that he doesn’t love nor that he doesn’t entirely appreciate you, but guys aren’t quick to settle. They like cruising.

But to not completely kill the romance, does a guy really just settle? Is all the affection, love and effort that girls pour into relationships a complete waste of time? Should women be just as big of jerks as men are, because it doesn’t really matter in the end?

I don’t think so because I believe that we all have the ability to charm someone and I think some men have to have some common sense and see a great thing when he has it . . . or maybe not because when I think about how many of those “he didn’t appreciate me until he couldn’t have me” stories have we heard? Many. But I guess this the reason, men don’t appreciate what they have but when they stop and are ready to settle the ideal girl is gone because he wasn’t smart enough to keep her.

But why would men shoot themselves in the foot like that? They have to be programmed that way. In their mind it’s “My way or the highway.” You have to be on their playing field which is when they’re ready then they’ll give you that commitment, but are women suppose to sit around and wait for the guy to come around?

Absolutely not! This is when we get the satisfaction of their regret. Sure the guy will move on, but he’ll always hurt because he knows he should have kept you and that you were the best thing that ever happened to him, but he messed it up.

So ladies, just because men are NYC taxi drivers, it doesn’t mean you have to hop in and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to get kicked out when they’re done. When you see that the cab is either slowing down or driving dangerously, just get out before he forces you out.

What is attraction?

If you’re not incredibly, really good-looking, are you screwed?

Ye—NO!

A half ass ye because. . .

I believe that we live in an extraordinarily superficial society, where most people are going to appreciate beauty before anything else. It seems that if you’re not “beautiful,” it’s a bit harder for you to achieve things that are easier for stereotypically good-looking people to get.

I think that people should be mature and thoughtful enough at this point to not only look at people for their apparent good looks, but also their energy, presentation, and intentions. All of this can be deciphered by one look, but since people only take the time to give ½ a look at people, they don’t see the beauty in others who don’t necessarily look like Rihanna or Cindy Crawford.

NO - because. . .

Initial attraction is based on looks, but I believe it’s also based on clothes, energy, and intentions.

But when a guy, who isn’t even that good-looking, goes straight for the gorgeous girl that he won’t get instead of looking at the pretty girl with a cute smile, you wonder what does it take? What is it that the opposite sex notices, first? What is attraction?

Attraction is one of those things that’s most definitely is relative. I don’t think that you can really put a rule or explanation on what attracts people to each other. I think that all you can do is be yourself and I’ve noticed that with all the questions and doubts we have, the answer is always the same; don’t be completely consumed with what others feel or think about you. Love yourself and others will follow.

Because attraction is based on looks and aura, it’s important to take care of yourself and have a happy, healthy soul. If we learn to live life and create a positive energy, not matter what you like, people will be drawn to you.

to all the boys I’ve loved before by Mayda Valle

 part 1:

we are not your mothers
and are not meant to be
it is not our responsibility to raise you into respectful beings
you have been weaned from the breast of a woman for years
yet you come to us
wounded and half filled with promises you can only keep half the time
trying to suckle our sense of self dry
we’ve become much to accustomed to sleepless nights and damp pillows
have become accustomed to waiting for our empty beds
to be weighed down with the bodies of men heavy with the scent
and the hands of other women
mornings with swollen puffy eyes are becoming routine
and we simply wanting to be loved
simply wanting to be able to love ourselves unconditionally
simply wanting to be held and feel safe
simply wanting the truth of whether you can really love us or not
play Hester Prynn
wear scarlet letters on our chests
become adulteresses
cheating ourselves out of what we truly deserve
willing to settle for less
willing to act like a little less than a goddesses
willing to sleep with the enemy
men too scared to stop acting like boys
thinking we can love away their scars
so we take the lashes of the insecurities they pour on us
and lick our wounds in quiet mourning for the little girls we lose by the minute
fast fading memories of playing hopscotch
and skippin’ rope
we now play freeze tag with each other’s hearts
play hide and seek with our love
if we just don’t breathe maybe we won’t get caught
up in the spider’s web we weave while waiting for what we give away to be returned