There’s Hope. . .

In the past couple of months I’ve seen many of my friends fall into happy relationships. They are content, loved, pampered, and respected. Their men are accomplished, ambitious, kind, and attentive. They are happy.

But one of my friends, my twin, has a particularly interesting story because we are the same person, (born one day apart) we are cynics. We never believed in the mushiness, we never thought a guy could be great, and we never thought that we could be completely happy. Although we tried to have a positive outlook, the options seemed bleak. Well, all that changed when my dear twin moved down south for a job training. She was on her way to becoming a star in top-notch corporate company while overcoming personal hardships. Finally, she was at a place where she was coming into her own and shaping herself.

During this positive evolution, she met a a great guy and she’s happy. She can’t  believe that she found that “supposedly” unattainable “good” guy.The guys that we said don’t exist.

Looking at my friend and her happiness, makes me believe. From this cynic to all the eternal cynics, know that it’s possible. It’s all about being open, creating movement, and progress in your life. Once you get to a good place personally, love will find you.

Old Men, if You’re not Hugh Hefner, Walk Away!

What is it in men’s DNA that makes them think they can get a 21 year old when they’re 60something years old? Older men, considerably older men always look to young, vibrant women/girls for companionship and my thing is “eww, gross, what makes you think you have a chance?” Why do men go for girls (not even women) that can be their daughters even granddaughter? Are they pedophiles? Do they have no conscience? Maybe they seek validation.

There are many, endless reasons why older men think and want a younger woman, but my thing is why do they think young women want them? Unless you look like Sean Connery, Pierce Bronson, Denzel Washington, or have Hugh Hefner money and fame, keep away old men. The reality is that if you don’t have charm, money, or have aged handsomely, you are not appealing to young women. Very few are the cases of older men who have nothing to offer pairing up with young women, who expect nothing but “love.”

Now, it’s not to say that I don’t believe an older man and a younger woman can’t get together, but there’s something to say when a man is seriously catcalling a 24 year old when he is 55 years old and has nothing of the aforementioned to offer. Older men need to make a list between themselves and Hugh Hefner and realize why they can’t roll like he does.

Women have ruined men

Yes, you read the title of this article correctly, WOMEN HAVE RUINED MEN. Now I am not taking the responsibility away from men or dignity away from women. But women have become a lot more tolerant of men’s b.s. and let them get away with so many things that were never acceptable in the past.

As a result, a man disrespects one woman, she allows it and in turn he disrespects the next one, and the one after that, and so on.  I just believe that men were held up to different standrads before and all responsibility has been taken away from them and they in turn have completely slacked off.

This shift can also be attributed to the feminist movement, where there is such a sense of independence amongst women, that we reject and strip men of chivalrous behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for independence, and a strong sense of entitlement as a woman, but I think that women definitely have to accept some help from men and not see it as a sign of weakness in themselves. We you make someone feel needed, they’ll respond with kindness, but as long as women do everything for themselves and men, the “good man” will continue to be rarity.

Friendship to Relationship to Friendship

You know that funny period when you break up with your ex and you’ve successful maintained a friendship and then you wonder why you broke up? Well, try not to get sucked into it because the reality is that you’re happy with the friendship because you don’t have the responsibility of the relationship. When you’re his friend, you don’t or can’t care about who he’s sleeping with or if he has a job or why doesn’t he buy you this and that because there is no obligation, no responsibility.

So, don’t get ahead of yourself and get caught up in the sweetness of the friendship because that is NOT at all the same as the relationship. Make sure you have boundaries, emotionally and physically. And if you do decide to take a step back into the relationship realm make sure that obvious and big changes are made on both parties to avoid further heartache.

Single with Cat . . . Not so bad!

Don’t judge a book by its cover! This woman from a small village in England has wowed the world with her voice. She gives older, single women hope to achieve their dreams and she makes being an old maid with cats look oh so good! Go, girl!

P.S. She’s already been offered tours and contracts! To see full video go here .

An article on crazy women

 

Interesting article on “crazy women.”

What is attraction?

If you’re not incredibly, really good-looking, are you screwed?

Ye—NO!

A half ass ye because. . .

I believe that we live in an extraordinarily superficial society, where most people are going to appreciate beauty before anything else. It seems that if you’re not “beautiful,” it’s a bit harder for you to achieve things that are easier for stereotypically good-looking people to get.

I think that people should be mature and thoughtful enough at this point to not only look at people for their apparent good looks, but also their energy, presentation, and intentions. All of this can be deciphered by one look, but since people only take the time to give ½ a look at people, they don’t see the beauty in others who don’t necessarily look like Rihanna or Cindy Crawford.

NO - because. . .

Initial attraction is based on looks, but I believe it’s also based on clothes, energy, and intentions.

But when a guy, who isn’t even that good-looking, goes straight for the gorgeous girl that he won’t get instead of looking at the pretty girl with a cute smile, you wonder what does it take? What is it that the opposite sex notices, first? What is attraction?

Attraction is one of those things that’s most definitely is relative. I don’t think that you can really put a rule or explanation on what attracts people to each other. I think that all you can do is be yourself and I’ve noticed that with all the questions and doubts we have, the answer is always the same; don’t be completely consumed with what others feel or think about you. Love yourself and others will follow.

Because attraction is based on looks and aura, it’s important to take care of yourself and have a happy, healthy soul. If we learn to live life and create a positive energy, not matter what you like, people will be drawn to you.

What Women Really Want

What women really want is just this. . . .

It’s okay to be single. Really, it is. . .

When did it become okay to be single? I think it was sometime circa 1998 when Sex & the City came to us. I, recently, noticed how comfortable women are with being single and hooray to that, but has all the pressures of finding the one finally died down? I don’t think so, but women don’t seem to be as stressed to be single as before. Now you see more single ladies going out to dinner, to the bars, and even on vacation together, and they even look happy. Before the Sex & the City phenomenon, women in the clubs would gather together looking completely overdressed and desperate for a male companion, but now you see the gals relaxing and having fun amongst themselves without so much noticing that guy that’s staring at her across the dance floor.

Women have become more comfortable with the idea of being single because le Sex has shown that one can be fabulous without a man. We’ve seen that life is so much more exciting and full of possibilities when you’re single. But it also allows for more fun with the ladies. Also, would you really feel more prone to go out to all the great parties if you had a bf attached at the hip, probably not.

Now, I’m not saying that boyfriends aren’t nice and sweet to have, but it’s pretty nice to be single and have options. Now maybe I won’t completely credit Sex & the City with this new phenomenon, but I recently read an article the New York Times, saying that people prefer to hook up rather than be in relationships. As a result of this people are going out in groups and not putting as much pressure on dating. So, this is good and bad because, now women are more confident about being single, but bad because obvious commitment isn’t on our mind. Can relationships be all play and no obligation? It could be, but do you really want to be hooking up when you’re 75? It’s great that women have found comfort in themselves and enough confidence to be okay with being single, but it makes me wonder, will relationships become extinct?

I hear women say “ I want a baby by the age of 30” more than “I want to get married by the age of 30,” and as great as it seems that women aren’t putting pressure on themselves to find a partner, I can’t say that I’m ready to leave relationships behind. I think that after all the girlfriend outings start to slow down; it would be nice to come home to a special someone.

Technology Takeover

One thing that drives me crazy about technology is that as humans we get lazy. I appreciate technology when pretty flat screen TV’s come out and . . . well that’s about it. I’ve gotten hooked to computers but it was a long process. When typing papers became a norm, I was actually enough of a dork to miss writing things out in pen and giving it personality (plus I have nice handwriting). When mp3 players came out, I held on to my CD player until 2006, and greatly admire the endangered CD players that have managed to survive until 2008.

I’m not going to sit and rant against something that I use daily, but I feel that technology has taken the personality and effort out of everything, especially in America, but I’ll get to the American thing later. Before you had to go to library and read several books to get a good concrete paper, now everyone goes to wikipedia or google search. And what effort does that require? What do you get out of it? I mean when everything has been simplified to a few keys, what happens to the books, and what happens to knowledge? Is that left for the dying few that care enough to research in the library and not the internet? But I can’t blame the individual; society is also to be blamed.

With technology America above all other countries has changed its lifestyle. Instead of “oh, we can do a paper in one hour and then go watch a movie or go to a paartay,” it’s more like “yeh, I finished one paper in an hour, now I can write 5 other ones for tomorrow.” We don’t take advantage of the fact that we can do things easily, but instead we take on more responsibility. More,and MOre, and MORe, and MORE!

In the movie, Infamous, Sandra Bullock, who plays famed author Harper Lee, says, “America is not a country where the small gesture goes noticed, we’re not a country like France where charm, something light or evanescent can survive. We want everything you have, and we want it as fast as you can turn it out.” This is exactly the problem with technology, there’s never enough time to appreciate the product until a new and improved one comes out. Every time we get something, we’re just waiting for the next big thing. I know that consumerism drives America, but do we even appreciate how far we’ve come? I don’t think so, I don’t think we see our advancement as a leisure, but as a given.

I love America for its availability and advancement, but I admire other countries, like France, for its strong appreciation of life. I guess as much as I love the accessibility, I would prefer to savor life. I rather write letters than write emails, and sip wine instead of soda. I think that we, as a people, need to stop and smell the roses, appreciate life and not get caught up in all the hype.

I wish it was easy to say that I could stop in the middle of all the chaos, but the truth is that in America you have to be up to speed. If you stop and smell the roses, you get left behind. So, it’s not about the individual, but as a society we need to take action and create a movement where advancement doesn’t dictate our lives, but we create a balance between enjoying life and progression.