There’s Hope. . .

In the past couple of months I’ve seen many of my friends fall into happy relationships. They are content, loved, pampered, and respected. Their men are accomplished, ambitious, kind, and attentive. They are happy.

But one of my friends, my twin, has a particularly interesting story because we are the same person, (born one day apart) we are cynics. We never believed in the mushiness, we never thought a guy could be great, and we never thought that we could be completely happy. Although we tried to have a positive outlook, the options seemed bleak. Well, all that changed when my dear twin moved down south for a job training. She was on her way to becoming a star in top-notch corporate company while overcoming personal hardships. Finally, she was at a place where she was coming into her own and shaping herself.

During this positive evolution, she met a a great guy and she’s happy. She can’t  believe that she found that “supposedly” unattainable “good” guy.The guys that we said don’t exist.

Looking at my friend and her happiness, makes me believe. From this cynic to all the eternal cynics, know that it’s possible. It’s all about being open, creating movement, and progress in your life. Once you get to a good place personally, love will find you.

Old Men, if You’re not Hugh Hefner, Walk Away!

What is it in men’s DNA that makes them think they can get a 21 year old when they’re 60something years old? Older men, considerably older men always look to young, vibrant women/girls for companionship and my thing is “eww, gross, what makes you think you have a chance?” Why do men go for girls (not even women) that can be their daughters even granddaughter? Are they pedophiles? Do they have no conscience? Maybe they seek validation.

There are many, endless reasons why older men think and want a younger woman, but my thing is why do they think young women want them? Unless you look like Sean Connery, Pierce Bronson, Denzel Washington, or have Hugh Hefner money and fame, keep away old men. The reality is that if you don’t have charm, money, or have aged handsomely, you are not appealing to young women. Very few are the cases of older men who have nothing to offer pairing up with young women, who expect nothing but “love.”

Now, it’s not to say that I don’t believe an older man and a younger woman can’t get together, but there’s something to say when a man is seriously catcalling a 24 year old when he is 55 years old and has nothing of the aforementioned to offer. Older men need to make a list between themselves and Hugh Hefner and realize why they can’t roll like he does.

Women have ruined men

Yes, you read the title of this article correctly, WOMEN HAVE RUINED MEN. Now I am not taking the responsibility away from men or dignity away from women. But women have become a lot more tolerant of men’s b.s. and let them get away with so many things that were never acceptable in the past.

As a result, a man disrespects one woman, she allows it and in turn he disrespects the next one, and the one after that, and so on.  I just believe that men were held up to different standrads before and all responsibility has been taken away from them and they in turn have completely slacked off.

This shift can also be attributed to the feminist movement, where there is such a sense of independence amongst women, that we reject and strip men of chivalrous behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for independence, and a strong sense of entitlement as a woman, but I think that women definitely have to accept some help from men and not see it as a sign of weakness in themselves. We you make someone feel needed, they’ll respond with kindness, but as long as women do everything for themselves and men, the “good man” will continue to be rarity.

Friendship to Relationship to Friendship

You know that funny period when you break up with your ex and you’ve successful maintained a friendship and then you wonder why you broke up? Well, try not to get sucked into it because the reality is that you’re happy with the friendship because you don’t have the responsibility of the relationship. When you’re his friend, you don’t or can’t care about who he’s sleeping with or if he has a job or why doesn’t he buy you this and that because there is no obligation, no responsibility.

So, don’t get ahead of yourself and get caught up in the sweetness of the friendship because that is NOT at all the same as the relationship. Make sure you have boundaries, emotionally and physically. And if you do decide to take a step back into the relationship realm make sure that obvious and big changes are made on both parties to avoid further heartache.

Single with Cat . . . Not so bad!

Don’t judge a book by its cover! This woman from a small village in England has wowed the world with her voice. She gives older, single women hope to achieve their dreams and she makes being an old maid with cats look oh so good! Go, girl!

P.S. She’s already been offered tours and contracts! To see full video go here .

An article on crazy women

 

Interesting article on “crazy women.”

Women are crazy

Men often say “women are crazy!” And as much I’ve said, “Shut up, that’s not true,” I thought about, and women are crazy. Most of us are emotional cannons and others are just a hot mess. Since a lot of what we do is emotionally charge, our reactions are often irrational and extreme. I think that women get hurt and don’t know what to do with those emotions, so they get kind of stalkerish, or vindictive. Since women are so sensitive and in their emotional whirlwind, they try to find a way to make themselves feel better. Because these things are done during emotional delirium they usually come out as crazy, but they actually have a logically driven explanation.

Like the girl that walks by your house, it’s crazy, but she just wants to feel close to you.

The girl that calls you several times? She just wants an explanation.

Or the girl that calls you horrible names, and is yelling at you like she’s possessed by a demon? What can I say? She’s angry.

So, yeh, women are crazy, but it’s usually because a guy did something to her. If men thought before they acted women would be extremely same, but when someone forgets your birthday, cheats on you, or disrespects you, are you suppose to be all smiles? I think not.

 

Forgive Him, Forgive Her Not

It has been said time and time again that women are more forgiving and kinder than men. We are emotional beings and men the rational ones (although, I don’t personally completely agree). I always see women forgiving men for their lying, cheating, and deceit, but hardly do I see men forgive women. Why is it that when men are done they’re DONE? And women forgive and forgive until they finally wear themselves out emotionally?

I think that people should treat people the way they want to be treated. If someone forgives you, you, naturally, expect that the person being forgiven would forgive you as well; but that is not the case, men make rash and firm decisions about what they want to do and women consider their emotions, and the situation as a whole and that seems to kick them in the face.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that women seem to get the short-end of the stick, but then does that mean that we have to be more decisive and strong about our decisions? I guess so.  So, when you feel in your heart of hearts that you’ve been hurt, don’t forgive because mostly likely you’ll get hurt again, and again and again; and once you act out you’ll  be judged harsher than you’ve judged them. So don’t take the risk of getting the boot when you wanted to do it first.

 

Men are NYC taxi drivers?

So, you know when you break-up with a bf of a couple years because he doesn’t want to marry you and then he marries the chick he meets 2 months later? Well, apparently this article explains it all.

Men’s commitment issues have to do with a theory that they are NYC taxi drivers. They work hard all day, but when they’re done, they’re done. Meaning men will date and date to their hearts content and when they’re tired of dating they stick to the woman who happens to be there when they’re done.

Now I don’t want to be a complete cynic but this makes sense. Why else would a man not be satisfied by the back-breaking girlfriend who’s been his everything for years and yet the girl can’t get anything out of the guy? Maybe because he’s just not ready, it’s not that he doesn’t love nor that he doesn’t entirely appreciate you, but guys aren’t quick to settle. They like cruising.

But to not completely kill the romance, does a guy really just settle? Is all the affection, love and effort that girls pour into relationships a complete waste of time? Should women be just as big of jerks as men are, because it doesn’t really matter in the end?

I don’t think so because I believe that we all have the ability to charm someone and I think some men have to have some common sense and see a great thing when he has it . . . or maybe not because when I think about how many of those “he didn’t appreciate me until he couldn’t have me” stories have we heard? Many. But I guess this the reason, men don’t appreciate what they have but when they stop and are ready to settle the ideal girl is gone because he wasn’t smart enough to keep her.

But why would men shoot themselves in the foot like that? They have to be programmed that way. In their mind it’s “My way or the highway.” You have to be on their playing field which is when they’re ready then they’ll give you that commitment, but are women suppose to sit around and wait for the guy to come around?

Absolutely not! This is when we get the satisfaction of their regret. Sure the guy will move on, but he’ll always hurt because he knows he should have kept you and that you were the best thing that ever happened to him, but he messed it up.

So ladies, just because men are NYC taxi drivers, it doesn’t mean you have to hop in and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to get kicked out when they’re done. When you see that the cab is either slowing down or driving dangerously, just get out before he forces you out.

What is attraction?

If you’re not incredibly, really good-looking, are you screwed?

Ye—NO!

A half ass ye because. . .

I believe that we live in an extraordinarily superficial society, where most people are going to appreciate beauty before anything else. It seems that if you’re not “beautiful,” it’s a bit harder for you to achieve things that are easier for stereotypically good-looking people to get.

I think that people should be mature and thoughtful enough at this point to not only look at people for their apparent good looks, but also their energy, presentation, and intentions. All of this can be deciphered by one look, but since people only take the time to give ½ a look at people, they don’t see the beauty in others who don’t necessarily look like Rihanna or Cindy Crawford.

NO - because. . .

Initial attraction is based on looks, but I believe it’s also based on clothes, energy, and intentions.

But when a guy, who isn’t even that good-looking, goes straight for the gorgeous girl that he won’t get instead of looking at the pretty girl with a cute smile, you wonder what does it take? What is it that the opposite sex notices, first? What is attraction?

Attraction is one of those things that’s most definitely is relative. I don’t think that you can really put a rule or explanation on what attracts people to each other. I think that all you can do is be yourself and I’ve noticed that with all the questions and doubts we have, the answer is always the same; don’t be completely consumed with what others feel or think about you. Love yourself and others will follow.

Because attraction is based on looks and aura, it’s important to take care of yourself and have a happy, healthy soul. If we learn to live life and create a positive energy, not matter what you like, people will be drawn to you.