The Negatives of Love

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Neil Gaiman

In France, crimes of passion are not judged as harshly as other offenses, and it’s shocking at first because isn’t something done under the guise of love just as bad as any other crime under any other circumstances? I have to agree with the French, at least a little bit. Love is so close to mental illness, you don’t see things as clearly, hence love is blind. When you’re in love, you’re in rapture; it takes over you and all common sense.

Love gives one such a strong since of euphoria that nothing else matters because you’re so happy and complacent. When you’re in love, you want things to work out because you know that this is it, this is what makes you happy. Since love makes you happy, erratic behavior arises when it’s threatened. I mean, who wants their happiness taken away? I’m not saying that this justifies crime because then everyone would use that line, but I guess, I sympathize with people that have been hurt by love (under normal circumstances i.e. no hurting other people).

It’s difficult to embrace the idea of love because the end results are usually 25-75 meaning most likely you’ll end up the loser or hurt, but not only does it hurt your emotions but it also hurts your ego because usually when you end up hurt someone had forewarned you about the consequences. Why didn’t you listen from the beginning? Because you’re in love!

What I wonder is why does love usually end up in tragedy? From Romeo & Juliet to Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, it’s all bad. Really think about the last time that you heard a happy love story? And that brings me to my next question, is love still out there? If it was, wouldn’t we hear about happy endings more often? When you lose your love, is it as simple as finding someone else? I don’t think so because when you love, you give up a piece of yourself and who wants to go around giving up chunks of themselves? You’ll end up being nothing.

So, why fall in love in the first place if you’re going to be suffering angst and sadness at the end? Honestly, I don’t know! But it’s for you to decide if the pain is worth it in the end.


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