I don’t know how I fooled myself into thinking that a relationship can survive without trust as long as the love and desire is there because boy was I wrong. Trust is the single most important thing for a relationship’s survival because no trust means insecurities and insecurities means arguments and arguments lead to the loss of love, and thus the end of the relationship. Now that you know that no trust means disaster, how do you maintain the trust? Or better yet, can you get it back? I say it’s really hard to forgive and forget when you’ve given your heart to someone and they just trampled it and fed it to the dogs, but, I’ll be an optimist for a second.
Well, first, how do you maintain the trust? I think respect and security are key to maintaining trust in a relationship because when you respect each other’s privacy, then your partner doesn’t feel the need to hide things from you. More respect equals more sharing and less secrets. Also, respect that your partner has a life apart from you and doesn’t necessarily need to tell you every single, little detail of his/her day.
It’s important to establish a line of communication by being confident that your partner will share and include you in all aspects of his/her life. If you are constantly scared that your partner is going to cheat on you and insecure of yourself, then that’s a huge problem. By being insecure you are constantly questioning yourself and your lover and that gets annoying. If you’re with someone, be confident that they want to be with you and be secure with your relationship and know that this person doesn’t have to be with you, but chooses to be.
Now, let’s say that your partner breaks your trust, you can leave the situation or you can try to fix it. If you try to fix it, you really have to try. That means no smart comments, no snooping, and no unusual questions. I’m not saying that you have to completely turn the other cheek because it would be stupid to go through an experience and not learn from it, but you have let your guard down or nothing is going to change. You can’t expect your relationship to go back to how you it was before because the trust was broken and things are different, but you can start anew and really make a blatant and obvious effort to normalize the situation. Things won’t get better if you’re muttering under your breath or always fighting or suspicious of your partner, if you can’t let the past go, then the relationship needs to be left alone.