Why do we stay when things are sour? Is it because we’re masochists or is it because the most cynical of us believes there’s always hope and love?
I think it’s the latter. We’re constantly asking ourselves, why do we stay in bad relationships? The answer is hope. Why do we tolerate all the bull crap that our partner puts us through? Because we love. It seems so corny, but it’s true and we would be lying to ourselves if we didn’t admit it for at least a second. If nothing is good, if it never seems worth it and we’re giving more of ourselves than him/her is giving us, why do we stay? Because we’re so in love, involved and hopeful, that we don’t have the courage to admit, that it’s just not working.
It’s not only about the love and hope, there’s also the fear and pain of losing someone that you invested so much in, in hopes that something great and long-term would come out of it. It’s kind of like the stock, we invest in stock hoping that it will build collateral and when it plummets it hurts because you risked so much and in the end get nothing.
But risks are part of life and feelings need to be dealt with. Now, no one is saying to get rid of someone before you feel comfortable doing so, but if someone treats you bad once and twice and three times, most likely they will treat you bad forever, and you don’t want to wait around for forever to have someone consider your feelings. So, analyze your feelings and evaluate your relationship. Is this really what I want? Make a list of what you want and what your partner offers you and take this into consideration. I’m not saying let a list dictate your life, but take that tangible list into consideration versus your intangible feelings when making a decision about staying with your boyfriend/girlfriend or moving on.
These are just tips because I know, trust I know, it’s easier to stay than to go, but then think about the daily pain and then think about the long run, The long run you’ll get over it. The short-term, do you want to hurt everyday?
I mean, think about it, once things go sour, do they ever get sweet again back? Can you eat spoiled fruit; do you want stale, fungi bread? You could eat it, but it wouldn’t taste very good, would it? That’s similar to a relationship, once it leaves a bad feeling, it’ll probably always muster bad feelings.
So don’t rush to break up with someone if you’re not ready but don’t delay either because life is too short!