Who’s the Boss?

Whether we want to admit it or not, there is a strong power dynamic in relationships in the sense that one person is more dominant than the other. In a traditional sense it has always been the man, but in this day and age when women are taking more dominant roles in the “outer sphere” as well as the “inner sphere”, we want more control in our relationships, but this can and has caused problems in relationships. This power struggle could be the answer to divorce rates because when women had less demands there was less divorce and now that women expect more from their relationships, they are finding themselves alone.


Relationships aren’t equal, but they need balance like ying/yang. There’s black, there’s white and a little bit of each in each other. I can’t say who is suppose to have the upper hand, but a friend told me that a man has to feel that he’s the one in power; it’s biological, it’s in their blood to be the one in control. Is this true? Are men biologically rigged to be the dominant figure in relationships? Although, my friend says “yes”, I say it depends. I am a strong, independent woman, but I understand the psychology of men. I know that a man needs to feel in control of the situation in order to be happy, but the thing is making a man feel that he is in control while you are really in control.


But you’ll only be in the driver’s seat if you pick the right passenger. That’s right. If you pick the right person, the balance happens and then you, happily, let nature take its course because you trust your man. I’m not saying that as women, we can’t be strong and powerful, but most men feel good when they can provide and make decisions, confident, that we’ll be supportive of their judgment.


Now, not all men are like this, some men need to be cuddled and babied because they never learned how to be men. In these situations we can take the reigns, but. . . you can’t criticize if your man doesn’t step up to the plate. That’s the thing, if you want a man that cooperates, considers, appreciates and strives to step it up, then you need to find a man with these qualities. You can’t make a baby a man; a man comes to age on his own. So if you want a man that makes moves, you, obviously, can’t pick one that doesn’t, and expect him to take charge.


So I guess it’s all about preference, and conscious, intelligent decisions, but the reality is we’re a bit more complicated. See, I am a dominant woman, but at the same time I want a partner that is more dominant than me, but in a compassionate way. I need a man that listens to me and takes me into consideration while still taking the reigns. Complex? Yeh, but it is all part of life.


I say, just make sure you know what role you want to play in a relationship, whether you want to be Queen Elizabeth I or Mrs. Cleaver.



3 thoughts on “Who’s the Boss?

  1. Your highness, you nailed it. I describe it this way in my blog: If he can’t rule the roost, she can’t rule the rooster. There’s more at wwnh.wordpress.com .

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