Emotionally devastated. Destructive. Traumatized. Those are the words used by others to describe my last relationship and its effect on me and I agree with them. As a result I decided to “protect” myself against any other male that would like to impose harm on me, but I wonder, is that the right decision? By closing myself off, I’m stopping love from finding me. As much as I don’t want to get hurt, and as much as I wonder if I can ever fall in love again, I know that I do want to fall in love. I can imagine this is the case for many other women.
Relationships leave you battered and scared. Scared to trust someone and scared of that piercing and bottomless pain you felt for so long. That agonizing, “I’ll never live through this feeling?” Yeh, I felt that and I sure as hell don’t want to feel it again. I think that instead of building an iron fence around your heart, you should just be prepared. That excruciating pain comes more from an unexpected heartbreak more than anything else. You trust that person with your heart thinking they’ll never break it, but if you mentally prepare yourself and accept that when you’re dating there is always a risk, you can cope better. Yes, you’ll hurt and yes you’ll cry but you won’t experience the shell-shock.
So, I say, don’t close yourself off from love just proceed with caution and give little by little. Let the man earn your heart and trust, not by making him jump through hoops but as a reward for every trustworthy and great thing he does for you. And don’t deprive yourself from love. Remember how great it felt before it crashed and burn? Isn’t that feeling worth something? And how much more exciting is the prospect of finding someone to permanently share that love high? It’s worth it.