Why Men Don’t Choose “The Good Woman”? Part 4

The last installment of “Why Men don’t Choose “The Good Woman.” Thank You AnonymousMale1 !

Now let’s get back to Kevin shall we? After careful thought Kevin told me that he wasn’t sure why he was addicted to this woman who he knew not to be good for him or anyone else for that matter. He described her as being needy, selfish, judgmental, unreliable and untrustworthy. However, he added that the sex was incredible!

When I reminded him that there was no such thing as bad sex, he reminded me that there really wasn’t, however according to him some sex is simply much better than others as was the case with her. Women, you know what? You really are right about us, we spend nine months of our lives trying to get out of the womb and the rest of our lives trying to get right back in it.

Anyway, when I asked about the other girl, the good one (#2), he paused. He then did something I didn’t expect, he described her with a kindness that was reserved for people who you truly respect and admire. While making these statements I could tell that internally he was actually comparing the two women probably for the first time.

He informed me that this woman, the woman who made sure that he had everything that he needed and ensured that he was always taken care of had been this way since the day he had met her. He went on to say that she was kind and polite and she never pushed him towards anything or ever asked him for anything during the entire duration of their relationship. He also added that she was stunningly beautiful.

I didn’t even have to ask the next question, he answered it on his own. He said that she was really the type of woman that he felt he needed in his life and that in retrospect the other woman (#1) was simply a waste of time and effort. The conversation ended and we went on with shooting basketball.

I didn’t think much more about this situation which happened a few months ago until I was asked to write this post and it jumped back at me from my mental roller deck. It seemed like a good idea to include it because it is a prime example of why some men chose bad women and overlook the good ones.

Now before I end this post I would like to ask you a very important question if you don’t mind? Please be honest with yourself when you answer because only you and any men you have been with will know the truth anyway. Are you really a good woman? Or simply a bad woman in disguise?


P.S. Damn, I almost forgot to tell you the ending. A few weeks after our talk, Kevin called me and gave me his new cell number. He had changed it because he said after our  talk he told the bad woman to take a hike. He said that she couldn’t take the hint to stop calling him so he changed his number so that she simply couldn’t call.

He also moved out of his apartment and into the apartment with the good woman so that they can see if finally he can muster the nerves to make the ultimate commitment eventually (marriage). So in this case the good woman actually won!

Now the moral to this story is that generally when as men we do chose the good woman, most times it’s for keeps!

Click to Read Part 1

Click to Read Part 2

Click to Read Part 3

[image: http://threedameswithaclue.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/1950s-housewife.jpg ]


8 thoughts on “Why Men Don’t Choose “The Good Woman”? Part 4

  1. This is the story of my life, and now these men have children with bad women and have no money left at all. Now they start calling me because they remember that I was always kind, loving, giving, good looking, hard working, etc. Too bad I’m no longer interested.

  2. So the answer is b/c bad women are alluring & wants to have sex w/out commitment? Well isn’t that what we all thought? I love the story but it helps no one. You are basically saying it’s a phase men go through. We can do nothing about it. Suck it up and wait until you’re 40 to get married & be too old to have children or just marry an older guy who has already lived his life, raised a family & cannot produce ‘normal’ children & possibly end up a young widow? I know my response may seem a little extreme but this is annoying. No one is accountable for their actions. Older men aren’t being honest w/ younger men to prevent this cycle. I don’t know why men are ok with having sex w/ a woman everyone else having sex w/ 2. Why are they willing to suffer for sex (STD”s, possibly of death, unwanted children) that they can be having w/ a good woman (likely w/out these issues)? That just doesn’t seem very smart. Men do not want to be call names but what else can you call this?

    1. @Shannon, I feel & understand your frustration. It’s a double standard. It’s okay for men to be “men whoers” & as you say have multiple partners, multiple children, multiple baby mothers, not to mention the health risk, financial & emotional strains. But all this is okay because they are men! Oh woes to the woman who are educated, with careers, going & doing something in life, taking care of home, don’t need a man to complete them but compliment them. Forget about honesty, loyalty, respect, trust, & letting him be a man instead they prefer “trash”. Like my aunt always say, men like trash that gets in their eyes! Single status is very appealing compared to a man playing with your feelings & emotions.

  3. You’d think eventually they’ll grow up, but no. I dated a 38 year-old, single, good-looking guy. I’m 26, single and in his own words to his friend “stunning, smart, rich, mature and sweet.” I took care of him, never caused drama, and never asked for anything from him. He recently told me that he couldn’t be in a relationship with me right now because he still had feelings for his ex, a 36-year-old mother of three (not his) and whom in his own words “is crazy and evil, tricked him for money, and was the cause of her ex-husband attempted suicide.” I did wonder if she was at least very good-looking. I checked her out, she is average at best and 10 years older me. Now I don’t believe in this argument that it’s because she’s easy and good in bed. Good in bed or not, I wouldn’t know. But to be fair to her, she’s not easy or sleeping around with every guy. She’s just bad in other ways. As for sex goes, I might not have been with many guys, but when he and I were together, we had great sex and I was able to satisfy him all the times. What sucks even more is that I found out he treated her so much better than he did me. He took her and her kids on trips. With me, it was hard to just get him to go out for dinner once in awhile. When we first met, he went out of his way to get me, made me feel safe and fall for him. Then now he wants to be with a divorced woman with 3 kids whom he once took to court for taking his money after their breakup. Is this a joke of what? Excuse me if I sound so bitter. He made me bitter!

  4. I like this post because it is straight up men’s perspectives. My question would be in my case, I am totally spicy but good, a bit of both, morals heart generosity and damned good in bed with a bit-o-wild… they move on, but they regret it, and then they linger… they can’t break their bond with me… they want the right to have and love me, but they didn’t choose me when the time was right. Wtf is that?

  5. Wow! I was right all along. This is exactly what I would tell my friends when we have our girl talks & when my male friends & I would converse. I actually know a guy just like Kevin maybe there’s hope for my the fella after all, at least for his stake. It’s still hard out here for us good girls. You get tired of fatting the frog for the snake but you don’t wanna give up on finding that person who will compliment you. So to the “good girls” tread lightly. Great article!

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