Are All Men Sociopaths?

The recent episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, struck a light bulb over my head. Intrigued by the characteristics described by the forensic specialist interviewed by Khloe, I looked further into the definition and characteristics of a sociopath. As I did my research, I realized that I had dated a sociopath but then I realized that many men, a lot of men, possess the characteristics of a sociopath. Then horror struck. . . Are all men sociopaths?!!!

Before I further explore this topic, I think it would be appropriate for me to define a sociopath. According to this site, a sociopath has the following qualities:

  • Glibness and Superficial Charm
  • Manipulative and Conning
  • Grandiose Sense of Self
  • Pathological Lying
  • Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  • Shallow Emotions
  • Incapacity for Love
  • Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  • Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  • Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
  • Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  • Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility

Running over this list, don’t a few of these characteristics seem familiar. . .? Now, I’m not going to sit here and say that all men are sociopaths because that is completely unfair and not true but I do find it intriguing that men exhibit some of these characteristics in a relationship. But to their defense, men are taught by society to withhold emotions and lying is validated, so maybe it’s not a mental disorder as much as societal rules imposed on men.

I know that the last guy I dated had all these qualities but  he wasn’t violent and I never felt physically at risk but he did attempt to ruin me in other ways. Having realized that I dated a sociopath is scary but at the same time I’m grateful that I realized in time  although I couldn’t define him as a sociopath then.

All this is to say that you need to be careful about who and how you let people into your life. Not to be a cynic but if it’s too good to be true then it probably is and if someone is asking you to make lavish investments in them, and is telling you all the things you want to hear then question his motives. 1-4% of people are sociopaths. That might seem like a small percentage but it actually equates to millions.

There are tons of stories where women fall for con men and their lives are left in shambles, so it’s important that you recognize the red flags and exaggerations early on so that you don’t get caught up later in the relationship.

We’re all human so just because someone makes mistakes doesn’t make them a psycho, but stay on your toes and remember you can’t change him. And you shouldn’t want to change him.  If he has this abusive mental disorder and the only person who will suffer is you. If you are involved with someone that exhibits the traits of a sociopath then do a double take. Don’t take the characteristics too  literally but be aware.

By the way, realizing that an ex is crazy is great closure . . .

I know that this is a loaded post, but what are your thoughts? Are all men sociopaths? Why do they exhibit some of these qualities? Have you ever dated a sociopath?

[image: American Psycho]


15 thoughts on “Are All Men Sociopaths?

  1. The first guy I hated was for sure a sociopath, I knew that as soon as the relationship ended and I saw what a slime ball he was. The second one he was more of a pussy than a sociopath…

    1. It’s interesting that we never notice the psychotic tendencies until we’re out of the relationship.

      All mean aren’t necessarily sociopaths but some just have some really really bad characteristics.

  2. Not all men are sociopaths, however, being as it seems, your frequent, repeated encounter with men who posess these personality traits indicate you may have a personal attraction to men with psychopathic traits, I.E. The Dark Triad. Try dating men who don’t have these personality traits and you will seldom encounter a sociopath.

    1. No sorry. No getting around it. They all are sociopaths. “Nice” guys are sociopaths who know they could never get away with evil acts (because they’re scrawny or ugly, etc) so they ACT nice.

  3. Hey.

    Firstly I’d just like to say that I think you’ve given sociopaths an unfair representation as you’ve portrayed it more as a series of character defects than an actual mental illness. The reason that I’m making a point of this is that I’m a sociopath and I feel like you haven’t considered this from all angles.

    Though it is true that one of the main characteristics of a sociopath is manipulation it doesn’t always have to be negative. In my daily life I manipulate people every day to some degree or another and it’s nearly always towards a positive outcome for them. In relationships I’ve realised that I’m not capable of providing actual love to someone but I am capable of providing a very accurate simulation of those feelings which I do because if I didn’t reciprocate then it would hurt them.

    I’m going to have to cut this short as I’m on my phone and it’s a pain to type (hence the horrible paragraphing structure etc) but if you did have questions or things you’d like to know then I’m more than happy to answer them for you. I’m pretty sure I know why men exhibit sociopathic characteristics more often than women as well and you’re pretty close when you said it’s a product of society.

    I’ll leave you an email address at the bottom so you can contact me if you wish.

    1. Thank you for your charming and candid comment. I know better than to argue with a sociopath but I have say this. How can manipulating anyone be good? Manipulation in all its forms is bad and since you admitted to being a sociopath I don’t know that I could convince you otherwise. Thanks for the comment and for offering the POV from the other side.

  4. I completely and wholeheartedly agree that all men are sociopaths, or else, the majority of them. Just give them the motive and opportunity to commit atrocities and they say “Yes,” “Absolutely,” and “Where’s my special torture device?” What’s the point of engaging in romantic relationships with them? Slowly women are starting to come to this realization, I think, realizing that the only function men should serve in their lives is professional, if that. They are good at some things, and should be utilized for those skills, but their narcissism should be controlled so that they stop polluting and pillaging the world.

  5. The intro is correct I was with one for 10 years and he had me so manipulated and convinced that he was a good man hell he had EVERYONE snowed even little kids loved him he was admired by other men (a mans man) there are a few things that were not on the list ,and here they are …… 1… sociopaths do not offer solutions to any problems in a relationship no matter how much you beg ,he will say he’s sorry and he won’t repeat the problem but you’re back the next week dealing with the same issues 2….. He’s impulsive and does not consider your feelings while he searches for self gratification . 3….. He wrongs you and he argues with you hurts ur feelings really bad to the point where you’re crying and then you find yourself trying to make him feel better afterwards 4….you are only a means to his ending result no matter what that is 5…….If you don’t give him what he wants he will seek revenge on you….6 everything in his life are on his terms 7….more manipulation he will make you feel like you are in control in charge but what you don’t know is he is still the one holding all the strings 8….A deep seeded rage split of my superficial charm 9… cries on cue to get you to feel sorry for him this way he has put you in a vulnurable position so that he ensures your compliance ….10 it is not on accident that you have ended up with a sociopath it is NOT YOU FAULT he picked you !!! I can’t say that enough !!!! 11 still pertaining to 10, If you want to lessen your chance of being in a relationship with a sociopath what ever you are lacking inside of yourself fix it !! and research keep your eyes wide open !!! one last thing if he goes from being angry or arguing with you and the argument is over and you are still pissed off and 5 minutes afterwards he acts like nothing ever happened and starts to talk to you about going grocery shopping tv commercial ect WARNING BEWARE HUGE RED FLAG ANYONE WITH A CONSCIENCE IS NOT CAPABLE OF DOING THAT !!!

    1. About the last one. The red flag. I’m not really sure about that one. I think that can be healthy if the issue were small, it can show a control of ones emotions. Which can either be maturity, or sociopath behavior, so I don’t think that is a red flag. I can do this, not because I don’t have conscience, but because I believe that being angry doesn’t help anything, and some fits of anger are just confusion, that doesn’t need to be explored any further. However, if someone shows calculated rage… meaning they are calm at first, but then once they realize they can distort something you said or did off handedly, as a means to get something, maybe even sympathy, from others, and hurt you in the process. I’m pretty sure that might be a red flag.

    1. Ery true. If you cut him off early, there’s not much he can do. He needs a willing victim. He’s like a virus that needs a weak immune system. As far as the other comments, while us women aren’t supposed to hate men, I agree that they’re all psychopaths to some degree. I vow to be single forever or marry a woman. I also find it funny that a socio came on here to try to manipulate the women on here. I wonder how many were stupid enough to email him. Hopefully none.

  6. I think one of the hardest things about dating a female sociopath is they tend to put their erratic behavior on you. They can drive you to the point of breaking, and if you do, you are automatically the problem. Then you maybe stuck wondering, what happened when they suddenly leave, after all you put in all that time and effort trying to help them manage their “issues”. The moment you loose your calm, you are the enemy, but in actuality, this was just a setup. They will attempt to destroy you while simultaneously appearing to help. It’s almost like you can’t even believe what it is they are doing, because it seems so out of character. That however, is just the mask. You may only have a few clues about what was really going on, because they will lie constantly. However, you will find bizarre secrets. Maybe they come clean about a lie that covers a horrendous act, maybe you find that they have several secret e-mail accounts, or you find they have been spending a lot of time (years) on a secret project that underlined a hidden sexual desire, or a book shows up that has disturbing imagery that they got because they thought it was “funny”, or they tell blatant made up lies about you to people you’ve never met, on-line or in person, or you find out that their friends that you met are not that close to them… like at all; and you just can’t make sense of it all, because they compartmentalized their lies, and used them to get what they want, to control you and others.

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