I have no idea why when relationships end you can’t be friends. Okay, I understand why but each situation is different. I think that there is a way to honor the relationship and bond you shared with that person all while moving on. There are certain people that need to be ejected but there are others that can be salvaged and serve a purpose in your life. I mean, seriously, where does the love go? I mean I know I’ve asked this question before but I believe that the love doesn’t necessarily need to go anywhere.
For the most part I have so much love and emotions for my exes except for the sociopath. I respect and appreciate their role in my development. Although I don’t want a romantic relationship, I do want a relationship because I continue to like them as individuals. Is that so crazy? I think Marion from”2 Days in Paris” said it best in a conversation with her boyfriend after running into an ex:
I don’t know, maybe I’m French ( I am fluent in the language, have studied abroad there twice, and want to live there) but this is the most logical and mature approach to break ups. Something about the person attracted you to him/her. Something in their personality made you stay. Do we ignore these character traits because romantically it didn’t work? Can’t we differentiate the romantic part and the personality piece? I think we can but it’s so much easier to ignore it all.
When I chose to date someone, I always ask myself is this someone I would like to have in my life? Not just my romantic life but my life as whole? My life doesn’t only consist of romance. It consists of many different elements so when the romance ceases, this person can most definitely remain in my life. I think I have a good track record with the exes. With the exception of the sociopath (of course) I can send them all cordial or platonic emails or ring them up for a nice conversation.
I know this isn’t the American Way but it works for me and maybe it would placate some of the bitterness and bad feelings that the end of a relationship can create.
Thoughts? Can you be friends with your ex? Do you think that the romantic side of a relationship supersedes every other aspect of it?