A few months ago I read an article justifying background checks and I thought it was insane to violate the privacy of someone that you just met but recently I wondered, if you do a check, could you avoid a potential heartache?
My thing is that I will do anything to avoid romantic suffering and maybe paying $1.99 to find out your date’s credit score and family history isn’t a huge price to pay for your sanity but then it’s a big price to pay for your dignity. To me, doing a background check is a violation of the second party’s privacy and it also starts a relationship with a lack of trust. The fact that you need to pay for information that you should get from your potential someone shows that you’re mistrustful and if you’re snooping now that means that you will snoop later. You’re going to set yourself up for that tortuous Inspector Gadget behavior and essentially doom the relationship before it starts.
As you can see, I’m against this practice but I will admit that it’s tempting because there are a lot crazies out in the world. And they all seemed like perfectly normal guys but then you learn. . .
Would a background check have avoided the problem? I can’t say that I’m 100% sure because although we get the 411 about a guy from friends and family, we still don’t listen, so what would be the difference with a background check? Would it actually deter us? I don’t think so. The best that we can do is be realistic about people we choose to date and be observant and careful. Get to know someone on your own terms before you make him a part of your life. Don’t be quick to trust someone with your heart and your personal information. Let her mind and you heart collaborate in your decision making. Don’t get carried away and I’m sure that you’ll be able to keep your heart safe without being a P.I.
What do you think? Would you do a background check on a date? Do think it could avoid heartache?
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