It’s been a few weeks of writer’s block because for the first time in 13 years I have no men problems. I find myself completely single. No boyfriend. No dating. No crushing. No desire.
I don’t know what to call this. Maybe this is what it means to be single. To worry about other things besides relationships and decoding men and focus on you. I’ve heard my friends talk about it and do it. Self-imposed “focus on me time.” My “focus on me time” is semi-self-imposed (can I triple hyphen a word?) and universally imposed meaning that the universe hasn’t tempted me out of seclusion with anyone worthwhile.
I’m thankful for it and I think every woman should have it because when you finally get out of the boy-crazy frenzy then you really grow because you’re not thinking about them and their alien tendencies. You’re thinking about yourself and what you need to be fulfilled and happy. Focusing on yourself is both necessary and crucial. I can sincerely say that in the 3 months that I have boy-free, I have probably developed the most I ever had in a lifetime.
I have had the time to reflect on me and find the lessons and meanings of my misfortunes and fortunes. I realize now that I was preoccupied by all the stress that men were causing me and therefore unable to make sense of everything that was happening to me.
I’m thankful for this time of reflection, for the opportunity to develop some clarity and direction in life. And you should be thankful too. Being in a relationship has its good and bad but being single is better because more than anything you can spend time with yourself and understand yourself.
Tell me. Do you agree? Is being single an amazingly liberating moment of self-discovery? Do you think being single is better than being in a relationship? What have you discovered from your singledom?
[image: Michael Keller/Corbis ]