I just read an article that put into words a concept that I have been trying to convey for awhile. I’ve been trying to understand why men find women so difficult to decipher and why they think we’re crazy and I understand why.
It’s called undermining love. Yes, all too often we, women, undermine our men. We don’t recognize their efforts and we want them to be mind readers. How many times have I heard women bash their men when they change their habits. Getting defensive, telling them it’s not enough, or what about “You should just know!”
Really? I mean really? I can’t say that I’m 100% innocent of this but for the most part, I am very clear and upfront about what I want in a relationship and, in addition, I drop huge hints like “I want a ring for Christmas!” I think that’s pretty forthright. How is he suppose to know what you want if you’re not honest, open, and more importantly CLEAR about what you need, how is he suppose to know?
I think it’s unfair to have expectations that we haven’t communicated. It’s setting him up for failure. I think that we women need to be a little less crazy (Yes, we are crazy) and try to communicate instead of getting defensive. This is why men block us out. Because who wants to get shunned for their efforts? Who wants to embarrass himself and demean himself? Because that’s what it feels like when a man puts his pride and integrity to side in order to please you. Imagine him tucking his manliness away to please you and then you kick him down to add insult to injury. Seems pretty wrong to me.
So, I say this. Stop being so defensive ladies and the same way you punish bad behavior, reward the acts of kindness. How can someone change if when they do things right they get the same treatment as when they do it wrong?
Do we send mix signals? Do women need to change the way they communicate? Is this a problem in relationships? Is this why we’re labeled crazy?