I tend to learn my lesson the first time around. I’m not the type to make the same mistake repeatedly but I can’t say the same for most people. I’m not judging but it’s disappointing when I see women making the same mistakes in relationships. It seems that they never learn and get burned, over, over, and over again.
So, the question is, why don’t we learn our lesson the first time around. Why must we be repeatedly burned, have visible scars, and do it again?
I have a friend that is so in love with a man that beats her, doesn’t work (out of choice) doesn’t go to school, recently joined a gang, and impregnated another woman while she was pregnant with his child but this is the man that makes her infinitely happy. What about my friend who had a traumatizing abortion and proceeded to get pregnant again by the boyfriend that repeatedly cheats on her? Or the person who continues to deal with lazy men? Or even me, who thought she could save every man?
Why did we do it? Maybe it’s love but that’s an easy explanation and not one that I believe 100%. I think it has more to do with self-esteem and fear. Sometimes women don’t understand that they are worth more and that there is something better out there. Better doesn’t always have to rely on a man but it can be having more time to develop as an individual and get to a healthy place. They are afraid of being alone and they are so invested in this one person that they can not see beyond him. They are blinded not by love but by insecurity and that happens to many of us.
Therefore, it’s important to love yourself, and learn your lesson so that you don’t continuously hurt. If you don’t protect yourself then who will? I’ve had my share of bad experiences and I’ve been hurt enough that I do everything in my power not to repeat them. Regardless of the temptation, I think about the intense pain I felt and consciously decide, I’m not going back there again.
Remember the bad and make a resolution to be in a better place. That requires effort, self-analysis, enlightment and most importantly, love.
Do you learn your lesson? Why do you think that women repeat the same mistakes when it comes to men? How can they avoid making the same errors in love or staying in a toxic situation?