He Always Comes Back

Recently, I received a phone call from an unknown number who happened to be an oh so special friend who took me through hell and back. I’d blocked him from every aspect of my life and I hadn’t spoken to him since May. He called to see , “How I was doing” ( I almost cursed him out for that casual comment). I, abruptly, hung up on him. This incident made me realize that they always come back. We always cry our eyes out after a breakup, feel empty, hurt, and like there’s a gaping hole in our chest. Once you breakup it doesn’t mean it’s over. In my experience and observations, men always come back.

There hasn’t been one time when I’ve cried my eyes out, been depressed and convinced that I’ll never see him again only to receive a phone call in a week, a month, a few months or a year later saying, “How are you?”

But this only happens when you respect the “breakup” and don’t call him. Ever. When men breakup, they expect the “crazy, stalkerish” behavior and when you move on and don’t give them the importance of calling, he’ll call you. Yes, he might be calling you to see if he “still got it,” but he’s still the one calling.

So, don’t lose your mind thinking you’ll never see him again or hear from him because you will.

I’m not going to tell you what to do with this because it all depends on whether or not you want to reunite but I will tell you this, always keep the upper-hand. Once he calls you, you have the power.

What has your experience been? Do your exes always hit you up after a breakup? Do you feel devastated and feel like you’ll never see him again?

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20 thoughts on “He Always Comes Back

  1. Biggest long term relationship ex of mine ( we were together for 6 years) Waited until 2.5 years after we broke up. At this point I had moved on with my life and also 12000 miles away . His sister was coming to visit me on holiday and he had realised the grass wasnt any greener with his new psycho GF and announced to his parents he was getting on a plane qwith his sister and was going to come and see me and tell me it was the biggest mistake of his life when we broke up. Lucky for me his parents told him no.
    Lucky for him they told him no, if that bloke had rocked up on my doorstep I would have kicked him in the nether regions and slammed the door in his face.

    Eventuelly they relise that everything isnt quite as they would have liked it to be.

  2. I don’t really do relationships, but one time I sort of did until I ended it. He contacted me four months later and I was like “seriously???” (Then we got back together… and then I broke up with him again… it hasn’t been four months yet, so we’ll see how this time turns out, haha.)

  3. oh goodness. boys do the stupidest things don’t they?

    he broke up with me but wanted to continue the “friendship”. why? because i was his only best friend. the reason for that was because we were together for 2 years and i was basically waiting for a ring!

    then what? he told me he was talking to someone but he continued texting me. i know he still loves me but couldn’t make the commitment for whatever reason maybe to fool around with his now gf. Anyway long story short. I told him to give me 8 months to get my life on track. No communication. Of course I still talk with his mom because she thinks her son is stupid for ever breaking up with me and i like her. So what does he do? 2 weeks after me telling him to leave me alone for 8 months…he tells me his mom’s sister died. I told him I already knew because she and I still talk. His response… freaked out because if his GF found out his mom and i still talk it looks like he’s doing something wrong and he plans to propose to her after graduation. yada yada. so we’ll see in less than 8 months what the ex bf does. i’m hoping by that time, i won’t be able to be able to be found.

  4. My EX broke up with me last September over text while I was at work. After that day I tried to call him once, sent him two emails which I poured my heart out, and did not hear a thing from him until Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving he sent me a “Happy Thanksgiving” text and I did not respond to it, just deleted it. The next day he sent me a “:-)” text and I just ignored that text too. I did not expect to hear anything from him since he refused to talk to me when he broke up with me.

  5. This completely explains a vibe I’ve been getting off a coworker~! I’ve had a huge crush on the guy for months, and he knows it, and the more I try to avoid him, the more he follows me and makes an effort to talk to me. AND HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND~! >.< He recently even started texting me too.

    I think I'll start to take your advice by keep ignoring him. I've been struggling on how to get over this crush for months now and I think from your advice in this post is the best way. Not putting any effort myself into talking to him and letting him do all the work. 🙂 Thank you. This really helped.

    1. I’m glad that this post could help! When you ignore someone you’re not feeding into their craziness so eventually he’ll get tired of getting rejected.

  6. Well same thing happened here, but details are a tad bit different. I met this guy we were talking for about 3-6 months then I slept with him. Continued talking after that, but two months after I did not like his rude behavior so I broke up with him and told him to lose my number. One month later he sent me two pics of him.. We started talking again, but no sex this time, once again his rude behavior and again I knew for sure after the disrespectful things that I said to him…he would be gone. Would u believe… he initiated contact again by sending me a “how are you”. We started talking again…this has happened twice after.. I was shocked, because there is no way I would call me back after the callous things that I have said. I said forget it this time…its obvious that you are going to still be around. Its not like we were having sex either except those first couple of months. As we talk now, he doesn’t push the issue for sex and is actually more humble and sweet. It will be a year since Ive known him this may. Although, I have no idea what he wants from me. I thought it was sex because we talked about it but..it hasn’t happened yet. He said he isn’t looking for a relationship and he also doesn’t know that I am in a relationship. eh!

  7. Oh almost forgot….he is single and this time around he tells me good morning and good nite everyday and we call each other pet names. Well he said he didnt want a relationship… so no harm right???

    1. Well, Tracy. If you’re not expecting anything from then you’re okay but my question is why even maintain a relationship if you have a boyfriend? Unless you truly enjoy and appreciate his friendship, there’s no real reason to maintain this but it seems like you might be interested in more considering you’re questioning his motives.

      I’m sure on his end he has an interest in you and wants to see how far he can get. Men are patient when they want something. If I were you I would take things with a grain of salt!

      1. Nah I’m not really expecting anything from him. I said not really because just dont let me hear something i would not like. Keep it like that and we cool! We are very much opposites of each other therefore we would always clash. Kinda like you like someone but can only deal with them very sparingly…. Yeah something like that would never work. I’m just entertaining it to see when it will die down before I truly commit to the boyfriend or maybe I am just flattered now because he keeps coming back…..who knows!!

      2. It seems like maybe he’s the one who needs to watch out for you! But why not commit to your bf instead of waiting around for a guy that you’re not a 100% sure about? Like you said, it’ll be entertaining until he says something that you don’t like and why even risk going there?

  8. hes come back like 3-4 times already…. , mutually decided that in this point in our lives we have to focus on ourselves. but he was my first, only time i had ever felt any desire to be with anyone in an intimate way, so we decided on the FWB relationship (not smart i know). for the first few months it was all good, then he started to date someone, he tried to end things in a good way to be serious with this other girl but dumped her to be with me. another time we had an accident where i was injured and decided it was fate telling us we shouldnt do this anymore, one week later… how are you recovering? i miss you. can i see you?. new geographical distance and school put strain on our “relationship” and it was starting to fade. but one of my very few belligerently drunken nights i reached out to him, which was a mistake, “behind a drunk mind speaks a true heart”, spilled my guts on how hes changed recently and everything i missed what “this” used to be because we became like an old married couple fighting, being tooo comfortable with each other, etc. he said this has to stop because clearly i have feelings but this time it seemed like he was trying to make me cry with every insult he could MAKE UP (all were pulled out of his ass and didnt make sense)… not even a month later and here we are he wants me again.. no matter who else hes been with it always comes back to me or even he wont get himself to be with anyone else before he comes back.. but he has to the nerve to ask if in the time we havent talked if i been with anyone else… and every time i ask why me he says “i dunno i just like being with you. its fun. i enjoy it, why do you keep asking me?” does he have any feelings/attachment or is he just a narcissistic controlling asshole?

    1. Dearest ConfusedandQuestioning,

      You are really putting yourself through a whole lot with this guy. I know that you know this but you need to cut him loose. He is not serious about you. If he was, he would have never left you and you would be in a serious committed relationship with him.

      He misses you when he doesn’t have anyone else. People get lonely and reach out to the person that he/she feels will most likely respond. You are that person for this guy.

      If you want to stop hurting, I think that the first thing you need to do is ignore him. You will never get closure from a guy like this. He’s only thinking about himself.
      You might think you’ll never find anyone else but I can tell you from experience there are plenty of fish in the sea. Trust me.

  9. They seriously always come back. Relationship or not, if you have some past with them then they always come back. The guy I lost my virginity to (but never dated) came running back to be 7 hours away from home 3 years later after breaking up with the girl he chose over me. Super lame & irritating. But honestly, if you ignore them and don’t talk to them then more than likely they will at some point try to weasel there way back into your life.

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