I work in an atmosphere where what a client wants, a client gets and they won’t leave you alone until you fulfill their RFP to their satisfaction. This got me wondering why aren’t we as rigorous with our choice in partners? We’re always willing to settle, we want one thing but we accept another.
Case in point. I had a conversation with one of my friends about my standards. I never asked much from a man except that I like him but I’ve learned that’s not enough. I told her there are somethings that I’m not willing to compromise anymore. An education, gainfully employed, and no kids. She came back at me and said that she’s open to anyone and that she’s not going to be “snotty” and judge people.
I didn’t try to argue.
I don’t understand why people are so afraid to have standards. Having standards doesn’t mean looking down on other people but it means setting the bar for what you want to deal with and the reality is that if you don’t set standards you’ll allow anyone and all nonsense into your life. My friend? Dates convicted felons. . . And she is gainfully employed, attractive, and pursuing activities to improve herself but because she doesn’t have standards she let’s men in that are from the jump pre-disposed to hurting her.
I was similar. . . Not convicted felon similar but I wasn’t as discerning as I should have been. You can tell a lot about a person from where he/she is in their life and I chose to ignore that because I was always willing to help improve people. But now, I’ve learned you can only help someone so much and I now require for my potentials to be pursuing a similar level of improvement as me. If I can do it, why can’t he?
This is all to say, don’t settle and don’t be afraid to set standards and limits because if not you can make yourself vulnerable to situations that could have easily been prevented and there’s no shame in wanting the best for yourself.
What do you think? Are standards good? Or are they judgmental? What are your standards and have you always had them?