When Your Ex Follows You into the New Year. . .

I usually don’t like New Year’s. As a pessimistic Capricorn, I see the new year as the end of a year instead of the beginning of a new one. Sad, I know. But, this year is different. I feel good about 2011. I’ve had a rough 3 years as my horoscope predicted and this year things are going to start coming together (the continuation of a 12 year construction and deconstruction. . . thrilling I know), so please tell me why he decides to send me a lovely facebook message on the beginning of my new chapter?!, “Happy new year u still hate hope not.”

Major *sigh*. Ignoring the spelling and grammar mistakes.

Why would the man that majorly hurt me send me a message on New Year’s Day?! Great start to my year, but instead of getting mad and ignoring him, I decided to engage. I responded with a cool  and curt message thanking him for the thought and the life lesson that he taught me, assuring him that I don’t hate him. He responded but his response is not important what’s important is that eventually you have to engage with the ex in order to get rid of him. Eventually a man is suppose to get tired of bugging you but if he doesn’t it’s time for action.

You need to be blunt, rude, and honest. He’s obviously so full of himself that he believes that he still has an in and you need to shut down that situation. Don’t be afraid to assert yourself and give him a piece of your mind because if you don’t put a stop to the constant intrusion then he’s going to feel like he can weave in and out of your life. It’s hard to give someone a piece of your mind sometimes especially when it’s someone you cared about but for your own sanity and personal growth you need to get rid of detrimental exes.

It’s selfish for someone to continuously contact you when you have made it clear that you want nothing to do with him and if he can act selfishly then you should too. Give him a piece of your mind and block him!

Happy New Year’s and Many Blessings!  Make sure that you are in control of your life and no one else!

What do you think? Do you think you should continue to ignore the ex or do you eventually need to say something? What would you say to a pestering ex?

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5 thoughts on “When Your Ex Follows You into the New Year. . .

  1. When my EX text me for the first time since our breakup I ignored it because it was only a mass Thanksgiving greeting text. My girl friends told me that I should only respond if he text me 4 more times. My guy friends told me that I should keep on ignoring his text because guys just do that for attention and for an ego boost.

    I sticked to their advice until this past Monday. My EX kept on including me on his mass Holiday text and I was not cool with it. So I sent him a really polite text asking him to delete my number from his phone and I wished him good blessings for the New Year and in life in general. I sent him this text because I wanted to end things with him on a good note and leave him behind in 2010. I did not mean to hurt his pride but I surprisingly did and he responded with “Bitch please, I found someone better anyways. I will delete you number with pleasure.” So right after reading the word bitch, he officially became dead to me and I thought that he actually deleted my number. Today (1/1/11), I received a text from him apologizing about the other day and said that those text were not from him…

    I am just going to end that story there because I am leaving him in 2010. In my case I think my EX is just being an ass and just does not want me to get my way and just does not want to do anything I ask him politely to do. My friends told me that he did that because he wants me to keep on thinking about him.

    I think if an EX keeps on reaching out, you eventually need to say something. Maybe talking to them will end the pestering or it will surprisingly lead to a friendship. But if the pestering continues when you made it clear that you do not want to be friends, then I would recommend looking into changing your phone number, or block your EX’s phone number to stop the pestering. Because the EX is just going to keep on trying selfishly to “get their cake and eat it too.”

    1. Wow, completely uncool on his behalf. You’re without a doubt the bigger person in that situation. Kudos to you for leaving him in 2010 and I agree with your friends. He wants to get a raise out of you to prove that he still has an effect on you.

      And those are all great tips. I blocked my ex and he called me from a different number but under normal circumstances I think that’s the best way to get rid of the ex because normal men will eventually get tired and move on.

  2. I think it’s the ego boost certain men have. Because women are classifed as being the majority of overemotional sex… that we’re the ones who will be moping for months (too many movie stereotypes filling guy’s head with this cliche) and thinking we were still obsessed with them. WTG both of you, for not responding. 🙂

    I try to end things on the best possible note with most guys I’ve dated but I do admit to having a short fuse and have been getting better at just keeping quiet to drive a man crazy vs yelling my brains out. lol

  3. I agree with the previous comment that the guy needs an ego boost and thinks that you are still ‘suffering’ for him, so he tries to communicate with you. I feel that the best way to deal with this is to completely ignore his messages (texts, email etc). That is what i did with my ex. I did have a brief email exchange when I came to know about his wedding because I was completely blown off by it. I had no idea he was just ‘having fun’ with me and had a future bride already set for himself. But that was it. I had spent enough time/energy etc on him and I refused to give him any more thought. After I made sure that most of his friends/family knew what a cheat he was, I completely cut off all kinds of communication. If he were ever to contact me, I will certainly not give it thought or respond. He is my ugly pas which I will never forgive/forget, but the only way I pulled myself together after the breakup is to force myself not to spend time thinking about him.
    I think communicating with him, even if it is to give him a piece of your mind, is a mistake. This guy is again playing with your emotions.

    1. I agree with both of you. He’s definitely trying to see if he still holds importance in my life and ordinarily I would ignore him and I have ignored him, blocked him, everything but I feel that ignoring him hasn’t been effective and I needed to stop his abuses. I’ve been ignoring him for a year and silence, apparently, only goes so far. Eventually you have to stand up for yourself. I made myself tastefully clear and I have a feeling I won’t be hearing from him again. Lol.

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