Chivalry and Equality: Mutually Exclusive

Chivalry is dead. Actually more than dead. Extinct. Men no longer hold doors, give up seats, or pull chairs out.


I think we need to bring back chivalry! It would do wonders for our relationships. With chivalry comes courtesy with courtesy comes consideration. I believe that lack of chivalry has a lot to do with the lack of commitment and kindness in relationships. Men are no longer forced to show good upbringing and give up a seat and this same disregard seeps into other parts of life. When a man doesn’t feel obligated to give an elderly or pregnant woman a seat it shows a lack of compassion.

Men say, “But women want to be equal!” Equality and chivalry have nothing to do with the other. Equality is a human right and chivalry is good manners. Men need to realize that to be kind to women is not the same as the right to vote, the right to breath, the right of choice. Men need to stop using that sad excuse, man up, and open that car door!

What do you think about chivalry? Is it dead? Should we bring it back? Is it demeaning towards women or can it refresh the relationship between men and women?


12 thoughts on “Chivalry and Equality: Mutually Exclusive

  1. I think it isn’t quite as black and white as your laying it out hun. I KNOW men who are just that, chiverous *sp?* but complain to me about some women who complain when they open a door for them. Take my friend Brian for instance, no matter what, he always has a habbit of opening the car door for a woman. It doesn’t matter who it’s for, a date, a neightbor, or a casual friend of a friend, it’s just how his momma raised him. But he’s told me how upset women have gotten over this gesture before.

    I have to admit, when he first opened the door for me, I was more than a little surprised by it and actually found it slightly awkward. I think women have become just as desensitized for chivarly as the men who are “supposed” to do it. While I’m all for a door being opened at a resturant, I don’t want him to pull my chair out for me or ruining a jacket over a puddle. Maybe chivarly needs to be redefined as just having good manners. Like you pointed out, that men giving up a seat for elderly or pregnant woman, that’s more of having good manners, something both sexes have lost. We need more gentleman, who live their behavior, not just go through the motions.

    1. I would agree with you if I didn’t live in New York and got rammed into by men as if I didn’t exist or if I didn’t witness men sitting resolutely while a old, blind woman is standing. What I do agree with is that women are so jaded that they feel uncomfortable with chivalry but we need to get over. As archaic as it may seem, as my friend says “we need to let men be men.” And I mean that in the loosest possible terms. Lol.

    1. Tell me about! Although I was on the train with my gym bag and purse and a young man gave me his seat on 59th street and he ended up getting off the stop before me in the Bronx! I was shocked but I’m sure my sexy gym tights had a role in that! Lol.

  2. I would have to agree with ‘portlandsfunnygirl’; and though your response to her comment holds some water, it tends to be that of a product of the environment that you’re in (New York). But it may also be a case of ‘wrong place/wrong time’; because I see bits of chivalry just about every day when I’m out.

    Chivalry isn’t extinct, I think most have just blurred what is considered chivalrous these days; and being able to see it.

    1. You and my dear portlandsfunnygirl might be right. I’ve noticed that most men in my office building let women in and out the elevator first. . . Maybe I’m being a little too negative (stress on the little). . . And maybe I shouldn’t use NYC MTA as my sample group for chivalry! Lol. Point taken friends.

  3. Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I am experiencing difficulty with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting an identical rss problem? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  4. Women don’t want to pay for their dates. Women are not giving up their seat for a man. Women are not opening the car door for a man. Women are not offering to help men carry something. Let’s face it: Women are not courteous by their own standards. Pitiful!

    Women seem to want courtesy when it benefits them. I open doors for all sexes. I offer my seat to both sexes. I do not pay for another mans dinner. I do not pull another mans chair out. I do not walk to the outside of a man when walking on a sidewalk. So why should I do any of those for a woman? Would they do them for me? Courtesy should be something you do for men and women, and not just one or the other.

    Internetdrama: You can’t let “men be men” if women aren’t going to be women. You have gained independence and still want men to behave in a manner befitting of the 50’s? If you want men to be men then I expect you to “woman up” by remaining in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.

    Equality or chivalry? Pick one.

  5. Chivalry isn’t and never will be ‘dead’, it is a code of action and morals that exists whether anyone follows them or not.
    This ‘modern’ society is absolutely pathetic, with old values being abandoned in favor of a mass orgy of self-pleasure disguised as individual freedom. Industry constantly pushing the boundaries of what’s ‘acceptable’. (ie. Saw, Hostel, etc…)
    The Roman Republic became an empire; the citizens of the empire became slothful, abandoning their old customs and traditions in favor of sheer pleasure. One merely has to look to the degradation of the gladiatorial games, going from death matches between fighters to sheer sadism, burning crucified Christians to light the stage.
    How toward the end of Rome it became common practice to dine at a feast and vomit up what was eaten to continue feasting.

    I hope I live to see the day that modern culture falls apart in a like way, maybe chivalry will return then. We can only hope.

  6. If you support equality, then chivalry should go both ways! Shame on you for singling out the guys when women are just as guilty. Everyone should be considerate and polite toward one another, regardless of gender.

    Man up? Woman up and be courteous too.

  7. “Equality and chivalry have nothing to do with the other. Equality is a human right and chivalry is good manners.”

    Remember the Titanic? Men being forced to die for women is hardly good manners, and it was certainly a human rights violation.

    I will return to traditional values as soon as women get out of college and the workplace. Don’t expect me to be Ward Cleaver if you don’t have to be June.

  8. I need to point out something. Equality is not a human right. Equal treatment under the law is a human right. We (especially women) need to understand this distinction. There is no natural, divine or man-made law that can make people equal without robbing them of their individual worth. God said in the Bible he is no respecter of persons – indicating that he also believes in equal treatment under the law (His law). You better hope he believes that you should be judged for your own actions and not ‘equally’ with all the rest of humanity because, as Kay said in Men in Black: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.

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