There’s Hope. . .

In the past couple of months I’ve seen many of my friends fall into happy relationships. They are content, loved, pampered, and respected. Their men are accomplished, ambitious, kind, and attentive. They are happy.

But one of my friends, my twin, has a particularly interesting story because we are the same person, (born one day apart) we are cynics. We never believed in the mushiness, we never thought a guy could be great, and we never thought that we could be completely happy. Although we tried to have a positive outlook, the options seemed bleak. Well, all that changed when my dear twin moved down south for a job training. She was on her way to becoming a star in top-notch corporate company while overcoming personal hardships. Finally, she was at a place where she was coming into her own and shaping herself.

During this positive evolution, she met a a great guy and she’s happy. She can’t  believe that she found that “supposedly” unattainable “good” guy.The guys that we said don’t exist.

Looking at my friend and her happiness, makes me believe. From this cynic to all the eternal cynics, know that it’s possible. It’s all about being open, creating movement, and progress in your life. Once you get to a good place personally, love will find you.

Old Men, if You’re not Hugh Hefner, Walk Away!

What is it in men’s DNA that makes them think they can get a 21 year old when they’re 60something years old? Older men, considerably older men always look to young, vibrant women/girls for companionship and my thing is “eww, gross, what makes you think you have a chance?” Why do men go for girls (not even women) that can be their daughters even granddaughter? Are they pedophiles? Do they have no conscience? Maybe they seek validation.

There are many, endless reasons why older men think and want a younger woman, but my thing is why do they think young women want them? Unless you look like Sean Connery, Pierce Bronson, Denzel Washington, or have Hugh Hefner money and fame, keep away old men. The reality is that if you don’t have charm, money, or have aged handsomely, you are not appealing to young women. Very few are the cases of older men who have nothing to offer pairing up with young women, who expect nothing but “love.”

Now, it’s not to say that I don’t believe an older man and a younger woman can’t get together, but there’s something to say when a man is seriously catcalling a 24 year old when he is 55 years old and has nothing of the aforementioned to offer. Older men need to make a list between themselves and Hugh Hefner and realize why they can’t roll like he does.

Women have ruined men

Yes, you read the title of this article correctly, WOMEN HAVE RUINED MEN. Now I am not taking the responsibility away from men or dignity away from women. But women have become a lot more tolerant of men’s b.s. and let them get away with so many things that were never acceptable in the past.

As a result, a man disrespects one woman, she allows it and in turn he disrespects the next one, and the one after that, and so on.  I just believe that men were held up to different standrads before and all responsibility has been taken away from them and they in turn have completely slacked off.

This shift can also be attributed to the feminist movement, where there is such a sense of independence amongst women, that we reject and strip men of chivalrous behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for independence, and a strong sense of entitlement as a woman, but I think that women definitely have to accept some help from men and not see it as a sign of weakness in themselves. We you make someone feel needed, they’ll respond with kindness, but as long as women do everything for themselves and men, the “good man” will continue to be rarity.

Beyond the looks

Men and women complain about the opposite sex. Men can’t seem to find a nice woman and women can’t seem to find a sensitive and nurturing man. The problem is that we don’t know how to look. Society has become extraordinarily superficial and people seem to be forgetting the importance of values and respect, focusing instead on the physical.

Men are no longer looking for the good woman; they’re looking for the sexiest piece of eye candy that will work their arm. When many (not all) of these women begin to lose interest because the man does not provide excessive materialistic support, men quickly assert, there are no good women. But think about, it takes money to look good, and these ladies aren’t spending money to look good for just anybody.

I know one guy, who is decently good-looking, has good money, and nice cars, but he always complains that women only want him for his money. Why? Because he only goes for the buxom, peroxide blonds that are, CLEARLY, only interested in his money. When introduced to a nice, natural girl, he didn’t even give her the time of day.

I see an appreciation from “old-school” men that I see seriously lacking in men today. A man always wants a beautiful woman by his side, but he sees other qualities in a woman, that makes her prettiness shine.  So, I say, men think with your heart and mind, not with you eyes and your “you know.”

Friendship to Relationship to Friendship

You know that funny period when you break up with your ex and you’ve successful maintained a friendship and then you wonder why you broke up? Well, try not to get sucked into it because the reality is that you’re happy with the friendship because you don’t have the responsibility of the relationship. When you’re his friend, you don’t or can’t care about who he’s sleeping with or if he has a job or why doesn’t he buy you this and that because there is no obligation, no responsibility.

So, don’t get ahead of yourself and get caught up in the sweetness of the friendship because that is NOT at all the same as the relationship. Make sure you have boundaries, emotionally and physically. And if you do decide to take a step back into the relationship realm make sure that obvious and big changes are made on both parties to avoid further heartache.

Single with Cat . . . Not so bad!

Don’t judge a book by its cover! This woman from a small village in England has wowed the world with her voice. She gives older, single women hope to achieve their dreams and she makes being an old maid with cats look oh so good! Go, girl!

P.S. She’s already been offered tours and contracts! To see full video go here .

An article on crazy women

 

Interesting article on “crazy women.”

Women are crazy

Men often say “women are crazy!” And as much I’ve said, “Shut up, that’s not true,” I thought about, and women are crazy. Most of us are emotional cannons and others are just a hot mess. Since a lot of what we do is emotionally charge, our reactions are often irrational and extreme. I think that women get hurt and don’t know what to do with those emotions, so they get kind of stalkerish, or vindictive. Since women are so sensitive and in their emotional whirlwind, they try to find a way to make themselves feel better. Because these things are done during emotional delirium they usually come out as crazy, but they actually have a logically driven explanation.

Like the girl that walks by your house, it’s crazy, but she just wants to feel close to you.

The girl that calls you several times? She just wants an explanation.

Or the girl that calls you horrible names, and is yelling at you like she’s possessed by a demon? What can I say? She’s angry.

So, yeh, women are crazy, but it’s usually because a guy did something to her. If men thought before they acted women would be extremely same, but when someone forgets your birthday, cheats on you, or disrespects you, are you suppose to be all smiles? I think not.

 

Forgive Him, Forgive Her Not

It has been said time and time again that women are more forgiving and kinder than men. We are emotional beings and men the rational ones (although, I don’t personally completely agree). I always see women forgiving men for their lying, cheating, and deceit, but hardly do I see men forgive women. Why is it that when men are done they’re DONE? And women forgive and forgive until they finally wear themselves out emotionally?

I think that people should treat people the way they want to be treated. If someone forgives you, you, naturally, expect that the person being forgiven would forgive you as well; but that is not the case, men make rash and firm decisions about what they want to do and women consider their emotions, and the situation as a whole and that seems to kick them in the face.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that women seem to get the short-end of the stick, but then does that mean that we have to be more decisive and strong about our decisions? I guess so.  So, when you feel in your heart of hearts that you’ve been hurt, don’t forgive because mostly likely you’ll get hurt again, and again and again; and once you act out you’ll  be judged harsher than you’ve judged them. So don’t take the risk of getting the boot when you wanted to do it first.

 

The Naked Truth

 

Men are extremely visual, maybe too visual sometimes. Their eyes never fail to roam over to the next booty passing by, they purchase porn, and nudey magazines like it their jobs, and in the end we turn the other cheek because those women are unattainable or they’re strangers, BUT what if those nude pictures are of an EX and they’re dated today’s date?

First thing that comes to your head is, “Is he cheating on me?” Second, come the self-doubt, “if he loves me, why would he do that?” and, “am I not good-looking enough?”

Of course, the answers to these questions are relative, but if someone causes you to ask these questions, then you need to get in control of the situation because a relationship should never make you doubt yourself, and if you don’t want to necessarily let go, then you need to do you, really. Because as I see it, when a guy has naked, recent pictures of an ex, he’s obviously still speaking to his ex, he, obviously, has the desire to see his ex naked, and he’s obviously still hung up on her.

So, what do you do about? It really depends what you want out of it. If you want the truth, then good luck because when men get caught, they will lie through their teeth until they all fall out. You won’t get the truth from a guy unless you have all possible escapes covered. I know of one situation where a friend of mine would constantly find naked pictures of her bf’s ex on his computer.

The first time, it was of two of his exes, and he said, “Oh, what pictures? There are no pictures.” The raging girlfriend thought she had lost her mind. She saw them and deleted the pictures in her rage, so deleted pictures coupled with his denial created a scapegoat for him.

The second time she found weekly emails from one of his ex with provocative pictures totaling well over 50. His excuse, “Oh she didn’t send me that! They’ve been circulating naked pictures of her and they sent them to me. But I don’t even talk to her.” Yet, his girlfriend had sent a reply message to the emails, “saying “Don’t send me these types of pictures,” from the bf’s account. The bf admitted that the girl mysteriously received the email (although she wasn’t the one who sent the pictures) and sent him a message cursing him out.

Now this relationship, clearly, has all types of problems. There’s no trust, no respect, and no love. Yeh, the gf shouldn’t have been going through his stuff, but why does the bf recent pics of his ex? I think that men are so obsessed with the body that they risk everything for a naked woman, and I think women have tolerated so much that men have no appreciation for what they have. But then what about the ex that is fully aware that the guy is involved and knows the girl? What is happening to our self-control people?!

Men need to appreciate what they have and focus on the woman in their life. Women, stop being nosey, but if you feel that you have to look through man’s things, it’s time to walk away, and EXES, you’re the EX, so step off; have respect for yourself and others especially if you have a baby. . . .