Internet Drama

I want to apologize for the dramatic lack of content for the past week, but be prepared for a major comeback very soon!

Hilarious. Sad. But so true. . . .

A study shows that it takes half as long as we think to get over a breakup. Yay!!!

I don’t know how I fooled myself into thinking that a relationship can survive without trust as long as the love and desire is there because boy was I wrong. Trust is the single most important thing for a relationship’s survival because no trust means insecurities and insecurities means arguments and arguments lead to the loss of love, and thus the end of the relationship. Now that you know that no trust means disaster, how do you maintain the trust? Or better yet, can you get it back? I say it’s really hard to forgive and forget when you’ve given your heart to someone and they just trampled it and fed it to the dogs, but, I’ll be an optimist for a second.

Well, first, how do you maintain the trust? I think respect and security are key to maintaining trust in a relationship because when you respect each other’s privacy, then your partner doesn’t feel the need to hide things from you. More respect equals more sharing and less secrets. Also, respect that your partner has a life apart from you and doesn’t necessarily need to tell you every single, little detail of his/her day.

It’s important to establish a line of communication by being confident that your partner will share and include you in all aspects of his/her life. If you are constantly scared that your partner is going to cheat on you and insecure of yourself, then that’s a huge problem. By being insecure you are constantly questioning yourself and your lover and that gets annoying. If you’re with someone, be confident that they want to be with you and be secure with your relationship and know that this person doesn’t have to be with you, but chooses to be.

Now, let’s say that your partner breaks your trust, you can leave the situation or you can try to fix it. If you try to fix it, you really have to try. That means no smart comments, no snooping, and no unusual questions. I’m not saying that you have to completely turn the other cheek because it would be stupid to go through an experience and not learn from it, but you have let your guard down or nothing is going to change. You can’t expect your relationship to go back to how you it was before because the trust was broken and things are different, but you can start anew and really make a blatant and obvious effort to normalize the situation. Things won’t get better if you’re muttering under your breath or always fighting or suspicious of your partner, if you can’t let the past go, then the relationship needs to be left alone.

Can someone really find friends on the internet? I’ve always believed that the internet was a place to find la amor or something along those lines, but has the internet become a place to find solid, platonic bonds? I doubt it. I researched this and most of the “internet friendships” turned into relationships and these friendships were usually kept secret from partners or spouses. Now we all know that if we feel forced to keep things secret, then that probably means that it’s something bad. So, this leads me to be suspicious of a committed person saying that they are just networking or meeting friends on the internet. I mean, yeh right! People know that a lot of people (not all) go online to seek validation and to engage in at least mild flirtation if not something more, so making friends, at least to me is bull.

But the thing is that a lot of people do it. So, is it wrong to supposedly seek friends of the opposite sex (or whatever sex you’re attracted to) online, if you have a partner? And, is it acceptable for that friendship to transcend the virtual world to the real one? I believe that making friends on the internet has an ulterior motive because don’t we have enough friends in the real world without desperately seeking ones online, unless you don’t have any friends in reality, then knock yourself out and make millions of friends on the internet. But if you have a life, a partner, strong family and friends, why do you go to the internet to meet people and bring them into your world.

I think that it’s cool to comment and chat on the internet with different people, but I just don’t think that those friendships should cross that virtual line if you are in a committed relationship because you’re seeking companionship elsewhere instead of focusing on those that love you.

If you’re single and chillin’ go right ahead and make all the friends you want, but if you have a partner, spend that time with him/her. And if you’re seeking friends because you’re relationship isn’t fulfilling, then you need to revaluate yourself, your partner and the relationship.

There is a difference between internet dating and virtual dating. Internet dating is a preface to actual dating and virtual dating is, basically, a video game where you date. Virtual dating takes away the eventual meeting and gives people the ability to create an image that doesn’t reflect them. I found this article on the most reliable source ever, wikipedia.com (just kidding), and I think that it has a good definition of the different types of dating on the web.

When do you know it’s time to let go? Relationships start out really great and there are butterflies, roses, and lots of hugs and kisses, and sometimes it turns into lying, cheating, dark clouds, and fights, but you don’t want to let go because you invested the time in the relationship and with the will of you and your partner rainy days can turn into sunny days. But what do you do when things don’t change? Do you keep on trying or do you let go?

I guess, I can say that there is only so much that you can do, sometimes things aren’t meant to be and sometimes they’re not meant to be for the moment. Letting go doesn’t always mean letting go forever, but breaking away from a partner can mean growth on both end. With every relationship you learn what you do and don’t want, and what makes you happy and what doesn’t. I think that relationships are, if anything, a learning experience. If we can’t take the person with us, then we can take life lessons and new self-discoveries.

Staying in a relationship may seem easier than getting out, but hurting everyday is way harder than hurting for a few months. I guess, what’s the point of staying in something that is making you miserable? The point is: you think you can make it better. And you can, but does the other person want to make it better? It takes two to tango, but if you or your partner isn’t up for the dance then you’ll be out of sync, no matter how much one of you tries to lead.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to preserve your relationship, but, I’m wondering, when do you stop trying? Because I think and know that relationships need effort and patience, I don’t think that you should ditch the relationship because things get rocky, but when things are constantly going wrong, it’s time to reexamine the situation. Decide if it’s you, is it him, is it both of you, or if it’s just not right. Then make the decision that will make you happiest because in the end all that matters is that you are happy.

If you have any questions or topics that you want to hear about, email me at internetdrama@gmail.com . Any personal information will be withheld.

It took me awhile to warm up to internet dating because I’m a pretty traditional girl, but I don’t think that I’ll ever warm up to this virtual dating. I think that if you can’t put the effort into dating then you might as well not date at all. I see virtual dating as a lazy man’s or woman’s way to dating because you don’t have to try to look nice, you don’t have to try to put together interesting conversations, and you get to think and delete what you say instead of just talking and being natural.

I say that if you can’t get off your booty and date then the relationship is messed up from the beginning because if you can’t try in the first stages how are you going to make an effort when it actually gets hard? Virtual dating takes the responsibility out of forming a relationship and reinforces the belief that it’s okay to squeeze in love into our lives instead of making it a priority.

The comment in this video are so corny, people saying that they work so hard now and it’s great that they can date through a virtual world without leaving home. I mean how horrible is that? What is happening to our society? It seems that progress is making us regress in other ways. Virtual dating is such a huge step back in dating in a day and age where we can barely get our partners to listen to us let alone show us a romantic gesture and then here comes virtual dating where a dinner on a computer screen is enough. Well, it’s not enough. Forget virtual dating, get up, go to a bar, sign up for match.com or at least MySpace. If not, stay solo.

Such a crazy phenomenon. . . . .