Let a Man Wear the Pants

My dear friend has told me recently, “we need to let men be men.” In the past, I would’ve exclaimed, “What the hell does that mean?” and spewed some feminist rhetoric but I’ve come to understand that’s she’s right. In order to have a successful relationship, “a man needs to be a man.” This not say throw on the apron, kick off the shoes and push out 8 kids while he works and goes bowling with his buddies. It means that everyone should be allowed to fulfill his or her role within the relationship. A man should be able to do for “his woman,” and she appreciate it.

All too often women want to exert their independence and in the process belittle her man but the same way that a woman wants to show that she can hold her own so does a man especially when he’s raised to be “the man.” I think that relationship structures have shifted and with that relationships have become difficult. No one knows what role they play in their relationship and because both parties want to exert his or her authority, disagreements are common. I think that women should feel comfortable with a man doing something for her and not take it as an offense. Letting a man provide doesn’t make you dependent, it makes you appreciative and takes some responsibility off your shoulders. It’s okay to let a man pick up a tab, hold the door for you, and fight a fight for you. Everyone wants to feel useful and when a man doesn’t feel like he can do something for you and add something to your life, then he’ll ask himself, “what’s the point?”

Therefore, relax, be a lady, and let your man wear the pants!

What do you think? Have relationship roles changed? Is it weak to let a man take care of you? How would you define relationship roles?

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4 thoughts on “Let a Man Wear the Pants

  1. Perhaps as women we only have ourselves and the feminist movement to blame. However, we lose sight of the focus that the feminist movement was about equal rights – the ability for us to vote and work. The only issue is that as women we would like to assert ourselves in the work place, and in the process, many of us get labeled “ball breakers”.

    Certainly, the roles in a relationship has shifted. For the most part, I think that couples struggle with their roles, simply because in this day and age, to have even a percentage of “having it all”, a double income is necessary. In my view, then every aspect has to be shared. If both couple are pulling in the income, then both have to be parents and both have to pull their weight at home. Personally, I have no idea how people even have enough time in the day to do all that. It’s really burning the candle at both ends for any individual.

    As I grow older, it’s ironic that I find that I am regressing. I look towards traditional societies – tribes, even – where their roles are still so defined and not diluted nor confused by modern day society and pressures – the women do what they do best, and the men what they do best. There is nothing complex – they don’t have to confuse roles to keep their heads above water, nor get ahead in life. Their lives are simple. They respect each other and the roles that they have. We, in our so-called civilized society have our knickers and jocks all twisted up in knots because we have so many things to think about: what about my feelings? what about me? when do I get time off? why am I not treated with respect?

    I don’t think there is a lack of desire on women to want men to play their roles – particularly in the field of chivalry. But we are so confused these days – men are confused as well. I would be probably criticized by my so-called independent friends who rake in more than 500k a year and are at the top of their careers, rubbing shoulders with men in the corporate world. our brains really only have so much head space for us to think about everything – and yet we have to.

    I am thinking that I would like to grow old in the country side and just be simple, peaceful and quiet. When there are no distractions or complications, there is more room and time to be male or female. Back to the roots and all that.

    1. Great comment and I understand you on every level. While I am progressive and independent I do think that life is simpler and more fulfilling when a man and woman have their distinct contributions in relationships, like you said, it takes away a bit of the pressure off of having to do it all. Maybe we need to think of relationships as a team effort where no one is more important than the other but each person has their responsibility. In basketball you, have a point guard, a forward, a center, etcetra and those players are not interchangeable. Each person had their role and together they make a team. I think that all too often women feel that if she plays a role and her partner plays one, that she might be letting go of some power and letting him dominate her which is not the case.

      I’ve definitely thought of the good old days when there was an understanding of each person’s contribution and no one was offended. While, I enjoy equality, and independence I would have no problem depending on the “right” man and being a team where we can both shine in whatever we do best. I might be on that train with you out to the country side!

  2. This is a lesson I hold close, because as Xena Warrior Princess-esque as I am and wanna be, I have come to realise that men are no good when they don’t feel like they have a role to play in the relationship. I think sometimes being comfortable with ourselves as single women often can make us forget that men need to be wanted – as silly as that sounds. But then we all need to feel that somehow we are good for something. lol.

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